I Couldn't Remember His Name
by newcomer77
Summary: Alice can't wait to meet the blonde vampire from her vision, but on her way to that fateful diner, her storybook ending is terribly twisted by a coven of vampires that kidnap her from her route. She tries to believe she will see Jasper one day...maybe...
1. Chapter 1

Run. Run. Run.

I dug my dirty white fingers into the woman's purple dressy-shirt. I kept clenching and unclenching my fingers, and panting. That's all I heard out of myself these days: panting with fatigue. I'd been so emotionally tired the past two months it was unbelievable.

The woman's red lips became an 'O' of surprise, yet she laid her hand on my shoulder blade. She was already protecting me. I clenched her fabric as if I would fly away if I let go.

I panted more…even harder as I heard the bushes rustle in the wind. Any movement paralyzed me.

Every time I blinked, it took so much effort to pry them open again. I only wanted to shut out the world and sleep forever, but I knew I couldn't. This was all my doing, anyway. I coughed in the middle of my next string of gasping pants.

The woman with red lips' creamy hand patted my head as if to comfort me--but I could tell she was just as scared. I looked around--my huge eyes roaming from vampire to vampire.

I was motionless, huddled next to the beautiful woman, dirty and disheveled. My mouth was parted, my face undoubtedly whiter than paper. The beautiful woman's fingers clenched the back of my neck in protection. I shuddered into her purple fabric.

I could see my protectors--I'd seen them so long ago. They were like distant memories that I hadn't given thought to until now, when I needed them most.

Illuminated beneath a streetlamp placed oddly in the road ditch, I could see the shapes and colors of them--that's all. Yet, I could pick them all out from my vibrant memory; Edward, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme--whom I was clutched against.

They all protected me, Esme and I were at their flanks. Their backs arched and they crouched territorially. I blinked heavily and pried my eyes open once more, gasping at the quivering trees.

I'd never been so frightened in my life. My tiny body was shaking, the bitter cold tore at my bare arms. I had a gray dress on…I didn't remember ever buying it, though.

For such a pretty dress, you'd think I'd remember. It was ruined, anyway. The white beading was bare in many spots and the mesh had torn into big holes the size of fists. I had mud soaked up to my waist and dirt clumps tacked to my body.

Pine needles were wedged behind my ears and in my hair. My eye had even gotten poked rather hard by a branch. I had cuts all over my naked arms--non bleeding, gaping gnashes. Inside the skin's jagged lips was nothing but purplish skin, yet it stung as if they were gushing. It hurt everywhere as I flexed my fingers into Esme's protecting fabric.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye; not wind or a squirrel. I froze, every joint becoming glass that would shatter if I even flinched. My panting became more labored and the air that ran down my throat was sharp and ice-cold.

I was surprised Esme didn't swat me away from grabbing her so fiercely. She probably heard the movement, too. I looked up into her face, and her pretty lips were still in that 'O' shape.

I saw him emerge from the bushes--branches caught in his button holes and leaves in his hair.

His ruby red eyes dripped with malice and pure fury towards me. I could only see his black shape…and his dripping red irises and flashing white teeth.

I could see every pointed tooth from afar, and it shot me full of fresh fear.

I remembered those long nights when he would balance a file on his knee and grin at me while he snatched it and stuck it into his mouth. His face would curl into a gruesome grin as his hand would move in quick jerks, sawing down his teeth to make them pointed. I would sit on the floor, looking up at him, trying not to give away my horror as he rubbed and rubbed until I could smell the powder of his teeth in the wind. I never understood why he wanted to be more of a monster than he already was.

His pupils were so tiny that the horrifying red color painted his whole eye.

They were each like spiraling staircases that beckoned for you to explore down--but you would find yourself not progressing and try to turn back. The dreadfully macabre trick was that no matter how much you backtracked, you would never escape--that way or the other.

Right now, I felt like I was taking a new option after blindly traveling up and down the stairs: balancing on my heels on the staircase banister, failing my arms out, trying to seek protection. Yet, I knew I would have to leap down the endless hole to gain freedom again. I could only hope that the Cullens would be at the bottom to catch me, if there ever was an end.

My brown and gray streaked fingers dug more and more as if clawing Esme's hip would somehow save me. Her hand was frozen on the nape of my neck. I could see the nightmarish figure draw closer to us, and two more henchmen lumbering behind like twin shadows. Their eyes matched his feverish glow.

I managed to feel relieved for a moment when the dark figure stopped for a nanosecond, taken aback by my new protectors. However, he wiped off the slight unease and brought back his cocky swagger towards us. Such a walk would be scarred into my mind forever and become the star of all of my nightmarish flashbacks.

The wind kicked up and pricked my bare arms again, but I could barely feel any of that. Thin branches quavered and the ones scattered on the floor twitched and tumbled off. The pine needle carpeting thinned out and was carried off. Some sprinkled across my lap.

He stepped into the light.


	2. Chapter 2

**You all know i'm not Stephenie Meyer. Of course! Get that out of the way...**

**I am basically addicted to spinning my own stories using already-developed characters. This is my third story now--and i am really excited for this one! I was inspired by the song 'Thinking of You' by Katy Perry. I was watching the music video when i came up with this idea. I will probably end up telling you every update the chapter's inspiation, so be prepared for that. (BUT Katy's song is what bilt this WHOLE story) Music junkie over here! So...please review and enjoy!**

I bit down on my knuckle to keep from screaming. He truly terrified me, and I had never known such a fear--in this life or the last. His smirked down at me--right through the blonde man named Carlisle and past Edward, the bronze haired boy similar in age to myself. I could literally feel my eye lids widen and reveal my prickly white orbs.

His skin was abnormally pale--like parchment, and it looked just as fragile. I wished it was, but I knew this was untrue. His nose was perfectly angular…but in this situation it looked frighteningly pointed and harsh, like the thick angry charcoal strokes on a flimsy surface. It dominated, like the rest of his features. His cheekbones were oddly pointed, his chin shaped like a triangle. It would so often jut out in arrogance and iciness. I shuddered once more.

His hair was jet black and cropped into sharp spikes. The hair above his unnaturally smooth forehead was short and bristly, and the hair was longer--down to the nape of his neck in the back. His hair was always so ropy and dirty looking, and it hung like something dead. This was rather odd for a vampire, for we usually had gorgeous hair. He actually encouraged the idea of rubbing dirt into his hair. It was snapped back in a little twig ponytail holder. It was like a tiny tail growing from his head. It was such a gruesome thought, yet highly likely.

Then, he spoke.

"Ah. You've found our little Alice for us."

I trembled uncontrollably on the dirt, gasping for air I didn't need.

He clapped his papery hands together and rubbed them, causing brittle friction. He was coming closer.

I reached out with my other arm--to the blonde woman. I snatched her hand that hung a her side limply. She stumbled for a moment in shock at my desperate and terrified motion. She turned her face a quarter turn back to glance down at me--surely I looked like some sort of cavewoman, sitting there in the dirt with bare feet and muddy hair and ratty dress.

I could feel the dirt clay from the ground cooling and drying in caked clusters on my cheeks and ankles. I didn't let go of her hand. Her hair was billowy and silver under the faint light, and I took one moment to marvel at her. Her beautiful lips turned down in a pitiful grimace at me, but she did not release my grimy little hand. She must value my sanity.

Esme pulled me close, too, as if to remind my that I had her whole family looking out for her. Carlisle began to speak, I now noticed, to address my own personal Satan, standing across the clearing. "Is this young lady part of your coven?" he asked calmly.

I began to feel even more terrified--would he let them take me away? I prayed not. I actually prayed that the horrid vampire chasing me would die tonight. I would breathe in the smoke from the fire burning his carcass like it was incense. I kept chanting in my head, wishing to see him die.

"Why did she get away from you?" Carlisle inquired politely, but I froze in fear for what this nightmare figure would do to the kind blonde doctor. I could tell that my pursuiter was mulling over the idea of taking this question as a polite version of "Why can't you keep your eye on a little nuisance like this?"

The black haired demon bit his lip, then broke into a gruesome smile, baring all of his gums. I knew they'd be black with decay if we vampires could have such body parts become unruly. I hated that his gums were bright pink, like a friendly neighbor. It was like he lied every time he opened his mouth. I squeezed the blonde's hand and clutched Esme's dress.

"She is a troublesome little thing, you see. We'll just return her to the forest where she belongs. She gets a little frightened when we leave it." His soft voice prodded. It felt like needles in my ears, popping my eardrums with dread. I could feel my fingernails through the dress--digging savagely into my palms. Making holes there. I didn't care.

"Why is she important to your coven?" Carlisle asked, and I could immediately tell that the tall, white, paper-faced monster was impatient now. He frowned, his brow furrowing menacingly.

"Don't you ask me about the privacy of my coven, sir." he snarled. I shrank back in utter fear, but the Cullens didn't budge. Especially not Carlisle. In his shoes, I would have been quiet and gone to the back of the pack before getting killed. Carlisle smiled delicately.

"I'm sorry if you took offense."

"Hand her over. I'm not here to play games with you." The bloodthirsty vampire snarled. Carlisle looked away, but not nervously--more like it was an awkward situation. Maybe he was trying to think of a plan…I wished he was. I wanted so badly for them to rescue me from this demon's clutches. Finally, Carlisle began to speak again. My eyes flashed from him to the chaser.

"I don't think we'll be able to do that. I can see there is more bothering her than the forest." His voice was level and calm. I gasped sharply when the tall vampire crouched and snarled. It sounded like his throat was a garbage disposal--grinding air and feeding on my fear.

His eyes widened to reveal white all around his scarlet irises. I felt my joints gradually stiffen and freeze unpleasantly. He crouched so low that his gangly arms lowered…his long corpse fingers whispered on the brown dirt. His shoulders hunched over, and he was peering up at Carlisle with an unfaltering fury.

Carlisle didn't move, to my amazement. I'd already be a few miles away by now if I were him. The threatening face turned at us twisted into a horrific mask--his lip curved to snarl cruelly, and his brow furrowed to reveal only the blood red drops beneath his ink-black eyebrows. His teeth caught the light and made me twitch impulsively. The pointed ends clicked against each other as he silently gnashed his jaws--a vice I found of his while with him. When he was feeling angry or threatened, he's clamp his teeth open and close rhythmically. It terrified me, personally.

"She is ours! Hand her over now and we will let you run off." He growled so his words were disoriented in the gravelly pitch. At that moment, his followers appeared in the light. I knew them so well, yet I wished I could pry their faces from my brain. Yet, now, they seemed like a blur. They were shoved there, uncomforting, blurry and toxic.

The first henchman of his was tall and rather skinny compared to the rest of us--even the vampire named Edward, who was exceptionally thin from afar. I was relieved to see my protector's bulging tendons and firm muscles the closer I came, however. This skinny, lanky vampire had longish dishwater blonde hair. It fell over his bare shoulders in ropy strands, covering in a layer of dirt now. I was shocked to see he had four long jagged cuts on his face.

They looked relatively new, and radiated pain. They roamed cleanly over his nose and barely missed either eyes. He didn't wear a shirt, though; I couldn't understand why he enjoyed showing off his scars. He had a couple deep gnashes on his chest. They were healing, of course--I supposed they wouldn't be considered scars if they wouldn't stay. They were purple and bluish inside the ivory lips of skin, gaped open. His skin was blindingly white in the darkness. His eyes burned scarlet, too. I shivered. His name was Lee.

The other looked more threatening. He always had been ever since I first met him. However, I could probably say he was the kindest…at least I though he was. I could hardly remember him ever being around.

He had similar hair to the terrifying commander--spiky yet a shade lighter. He didn't have the long hair in back, though. It was sort of like a hedge on his head, clipped and trimmed well. Even now it was spotless. I wondered about that--I was here in the dirt splattered in clay dirt and his coven also had dust caked over their hair. His gleamed like marble in the light he stepped into. He wore a long sleeved navy shirt over his broad torso--but one sleeve was completely gone up to his mid-forearm.

I noticed that the Cullen named Emmett closely resembled him. They both had dark hair and huge intimidating builds. I hoped Emmett would be good against my pursier and his followers...but maybe show the big one mercy. Even now he did not look comfortable. This large and beautiful vampire was named Perry, which I never thought quite fit him. I never told anyone this, for I recalled their leader would mind me saying so-- he'd snap at me for making such smart remarks. Perry seemed like he'd only hurt me under his leader's commands, and even then I'd see the regret and apology in his eyes.

I was dissecting them all with my eyes…in some sort of trance…when the leader snarled and launched himself at Carlisle. I shrieked.

In that moment--those nanoseconds, I saw someone I'd thought of so meaningfully once…a long time ago.

I could barely remember a time I wasn't enslaved. It was when I was free did I think of that vampire…the blonde one from my visions. I recalled waking up in the bleak darkness, on wet cobblestones of the asylum. I'd been so confused and scared…all alone in the blackness, when a vibrant image popped into my head. That only confused me more, but I was awed by the picture painted inside my mind.

It was a vampire--a beautiful one with wavy blonde hair and a serious face. I remembered he had some sort of odd scars--I recalled figuring out what they could possibly be caused from. I remembered being horrified by the thought, but now I couldn't remember a thing about his ravaged skin. Maybe it was burn marks. That seemed close.

I had seen him walk into a diner, the room lit with warm yellows and white candles burning. I remember being amazed by the clarity of the vision and knowing it meant something. I had set out to find this beautiful man. Philadelphia--that's where I ventured. I remembered that much. Mostly because that was the state I was imprisoned in.

Now I saw his face in perfect clarity as the first time. It turned my attention away from the massacre about to ensue.

It was him…in the dim moonlight. I couldn't see his face, I could only pick out the huge glowing moon, yet I knew it was him. I saw his wavy hair quivering the chilled breeze, and his neck cock towards the sky. Then it vanished from my mind, and I felt like weeping.

I missed his glorious face in my mind, but ever since I was taken away from my mission to locate him, I hadn't seen him. He hadn't visited my mind, though I yearned for it, relying on it to help me through hard times. That must've been why I had forgotten him. I tried to retrieve the shattered image in my brain before I came crashing back to reality--and I knew my tormentor would be reaching Carlisle by now. Either one could be struggling against being torn to ribbons.

As the edges of the vibrant memory were soaked with the dark blue of night around me, I did let out a sharp cry of pain. All those nights I'd spent at that diner, hoping and wishing for him to arrive… useless now. I realized I didn't even remember his name.

**I am very excited about this story. I think it will be an entertaining new story to Alice's life. Please review! PLEASEPLEASE i always say this, but: Reviews inspire me to crank out more chapters, and hopefully i have some followers by now! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

_Two Months Earlier_

I sighed into my full glass of water. Why humans drank it was beyond me. It was so bland and tasteless. Surely it was only useful for quenching thirst, though my liquid of choice was far different than plain old water. I set it down on the cold counter, tracing a ring it had left with moistness. I smeared it with my white little finger. My hand seemed to glow against the fake brown marble bar.

"We're about to close for the night, Alice." A voice said politely. It was Figgie, the bartender. He was a kind human to me. I smiled at him as he went to work drying a glass in his meaty hands. He was very pink and had liver spots all over like some sort of disease. I was glad his blood was thin and not exactly unbearably tempting, for I wouldn't enjoy imagining killing him every time I spotted him. He was bald with a couple rolls of fat above his neck where his skin fell over his collar. The hair that remained was only half an inch long and graying. His eyes were wide and blue. They were what made him look exceptionally younger than he really was. If not for that, I wouldn't find him as such a cute middle aged human.

"You need any help closing shop?" I asked, pulling on my thin cardigan. It was all I had--a nubby blue sweater thing, and it was freezing out. He seized from giving me weird looks on my fashion anymore. It'd been cheap and I could wear it year-long...

Figgie sniggered at my question. "Go on, Alice. Have a nice night. I don't need a pretty little lady like you to help me with dirty men's work." He pulled out a stained rag and began to swipe it across the bar. He picked up a couple peants and flicked them away, shrugging.

"Are you sure? I always have plenty free time." I prodded. It was painfully true. He sighed; he smiled.

"Broom's by the coat rack." I gleefully pounced across the dirty tiles and snatched the old wooden brromstick. I went to work vigorously on the floor. Figgie obviosuly didn't see it as much of a priority. He was long finished with his own work when i was still inspecting the floor. "C'mon, Alice! Time to go, darlin'."

I smiled back at him, careful at how much my teeth gleamed. I propped the lone broom against the wall and headed for the door.

I suspected that Figgie believed I was mentally ill. Just a speck, however. He still liked to strike up conversations with me and joke around. He always gave me a strange look--every night. I always came in and ordered one glass of water--the cheapest on the menu.

When I first came into the diner, sparkling and ecstatic at finding the perfect match as my vision's--Figgie kindly told me that I had to order something if I wanted a place at the bar. I had to tell myself to stop grinning like an idiot and order a water. It wasn't a big deal--I had a lot of money. I didn't care to tell anyone how I obtained it, however. I never took more than ten dollars from a person at a time. I was an exceptional pick-pocketer. Besides the occasional article of clothing--a necessity; I never bought anything but waters at Figgie's bar.

I stirred from my motionless position. I smiled at him. "Alright, Figgie. Have a good night." My eyes met my faraway drink still on the bar. It was only three sips less than when I'd bought it. I grasped the doorknob when Figgie asked, "Do you think he'll show up soon?"

I knew what he meant. I had told him, but just enough to sound like a harmless, romantic lunatic and not a vampire that could see premonitions. He would be tall and blonde, I had gushed. It was a human thing to do, I felt. His skin would be beautiful (this was also an edit on my part. I could clearly see in my visions that his skin was ravaged by something I noted to inspect more the next time I saw him) and his facial features elegant.

I told him with certainty that his face would put the statues of saints and angels at the town church to shame. I told him that he was a kind and gentle person, though I couldn't be positive myself. If he was destined to be with me, he had to be--because I never liked arrogant meatheads. His face was too sensitive for him to be anything else, though. To conclude my long list of silly rants, I sheepishly told him that he had beautiful blue eyes, like the ocean. I tossed in some silly descriptions like how soulful they were; how piercing. I couldn't tell him that they were truthfully as red as glowing blood, rubies or scarlet cloth. What sort of dream man was that for a normal girl to have?

I shrugged at him. "I can never be sure. I think it will be pretty soon, though. I can sort of feel it…at least I hope that's what it is." I rolled my eyes and giggled. I had told him that I had a dream (something very human-like) of his diner and I had met the man I'd always wanted. I told him I had set out to spend every night there until I found him. He had given me a strange look and simply asked me not to discuss it with customers. Said it was bad for business.

He saw me as a hopeless romantic chasing a silly dream, but I knew I would meet the mysterious blonde vampire with red glowing eyes one day. Every night as he closed up, he's ask me about the man and if he was coming closer to meeting me. He wanted to tell me he did care about my silly ambition--I could see in his face that was all he thought it was. I'll admit to feeling slightly discouraged by this and the fact that the blonde man hadn't shown up as soon as I had planned. Now he was waving at me as I scooped up my tiny black purse and headed out the door. The bell tinkled, and when I looked over my shoulder, Figgie was turning the 'Open' sign to become 'Closed'.

****This chapter was inspired by Natasha Bedingfield's _Soulmate_. Give it a listen!**

**Anyway, please review. And please read on! I DO look at my traffic stats. Trust me, it's about to get intense soon. PLEASE READ! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi there! If you are reading, let me just first off thank you for even giving this a chance. I really like it--and that is something for me to say--i am definetely my harshest critic. It will get better soon, but i want to flesh out my favorite female Cullen first. Please review! Please please! You don't know how amazed i am when i get even ONE new review, let alone ten or something! Please enjoy and review! Thanks!**

I sighed and listened to my heels clink against the cobblestone street. I listened in loneliness and summoned the image of my soul mate to make my spirits rise. I smiled faintly, my face illuminated only by street lamps burning foul oil. I clutched my black purse to my body and wondered more about Figgie. He really was my best friend in this strange world--which was an odd thing for a predator to say of its desired prey. I could see the way he looked at me as I sat on the stool, lonely a

nd expectant, my white hands wrapped abrasively around a glass. A human wouldn't find it in his face--pity. I could, of course--I was far from human. In his greasy face folds, I could see it in his eyes--the way they moved and the way his mouth down turned by a millimeter. I tried to brush it off, but it was becoming harder and harder as time went by and the red-eyed beauty still hadn't yet come. How could my vision be anything but true, though?

I'd had my second vision on my way to Philadelphia--and I saw the sky in it. It was blotted gray, black and blue like a dreary watercolor painting, and the earth below was moist from rain. Without a moment to mull it over, I swerved beneath a pine tree and drew my legs to my chest, still in my asylum hospital-like gown. Only twenty minutes later, the rather dry day became a helpless puddle around me. I didn't think much of what I'd done to protect myself from the storm. It just seemed natural. When the grass dried up enough after the rain had fallen, I picked up myself and continued on without another thought about it.

Surely the vision about the red-eyed vampire had to be true. But was I making assumptions? This was besides the point of his arrival--but would he really be my soul mate? The thought often jarred me to stop, wherever I was. What if he was really supposed to kill me?

Or worse--be a normal vampire passing through? Nothing to fear--nothing to love? I usually dismissed that thought the moment it appeared. Why would I be having premonitions of an every day vampire--useless to my eternal life?

Yet, I remained unfaltering to my belief he was my future lover. I thought he was achingly beautiful, and every time I saw his in my mind, he was looking frightened. His neck would swerve so he could navigate the diner with wide yet wary scarlet eyes. He would check over his shoulder more often than needed in such a quiet little town with his large, worried eyes. Every time the glorious face appeared in my mind, I always longed to reach out and comfort him.

I longed to touch his hair, to brush my knuckles across his cheek, to give his lips a feathery soft touch with my fingertips. I wished my vision would stretch out further--so I could see me doing this, and his relaxed and grateful expression. I could only imagine his purple eyelids dropping in relief as I gently touched him.

I could imagine how tense he would feel--I'd seen him in torn and rugged clothing each time. Of course that affected me every time an old hunter would step into the diner with his forest worn clothes still on his back. It was odd to look forward to seeing such a raggedy character come through those doors.

I always told Figgie that I had the cutest cottage, but I didn't, of course. If only Figgie knew about my life. During the night, I would take walks. I didn't feel the need to stop somewhere and rest, of course. I was now walking over a tiny bridge built over a thin stream. I could hardly see it's use, for the stream was a foot down at its deepest. My heels clicked over it, sounding hollow. I hugged myself and buttoned up my cardigan.

I had been walking around the town for four hours before I finally stepped at an old tree in the park. On dreary days--when I was allowed outside, I would go to the park, but be the only one there. People didn't find the park very fun when it was gray and chilly out. So, it definitely wasn't the first time my loneliness pricked at me.

I'd sit on the bench where many people had etched words into. Some were swear words--those were becoming more rapid additions, but my favorite to trace with my finger was a heart with two names inside. It said 'Will + Kate Forever'. I was surprised it hadn't worn away, considering how many times I had rubbed at it, smiling and wondering where they were now.

It had been an awful day at the park one when I was not alone. Two middle school girls were at my bench, and that already had me a little disappointed. I loved company, but I loved my bench more. They sat on it, not being very gentle, either. I could see miniscule flakes of paint fall from it as they bounced on it idiotically and spoke loudly to each other. I'd sit at the base of a tree nearby and watch them, though they didn't know.

The one on the left was redheaded, and my ears seemed to grow as she snorted, "'Will + Kate Forever'? Ha. I'll bet he knocked her up and she's somewhere with a slimy baby trying to work two jobs." Her friend laughed and picked up a sharp rock at her feet, swinging her long blonde hair over her shoulder. She handed it to her friend, her giggled tapering off. The redhead sneered and took the rock and went to work on her own addition to the bench.

I was horrified to see her lean over my precious little heart sketching. I barely noticed through my horror that I had stood up. I heard myself say, "Hey, you girls! Quit vandalizing park property!" The blonde had looked up, a bit uneasy, but the redhead frowned at me.

I was walking to them now, trying not to bare my teeth at the little urchins. As soon as I was close enough to the redhead so she could register my appearance, she let the rock fall from her hand. Her mouth unhinged and opened slackly. I stood in front of them, hands on my slim hips, frowning back just as rudely. They picked up their bags and shuffled off, red faced. Their blood scent lingered, but it was sour in my dread. I leaned over to see the damage.

The girl had managed to scratch out 'Forever' with her crude little tool. I sighed and touched the pulpy wood, fresh white beneath the cracking brown paint. I had to believe two people could be happy together…forever, and that wretched little human had scribbled out something that assured me. I had taken a very, very long walk that day until five o' clock: when Figgie's shift began.

I pried from my memories--the only thing I held close, as I felt the scratched-out words beneath my palm. In the darkness, I could still see the 'Will + Kate' part. I was glad I had stopped the red headed devil child from crossing their names out, at least. They were perhaps my second and third best friends, and I had never met them before. I could only imagine them up and swoon over the romantic things they would do. Will would probably give her flowers and massage her shoulders and she would make him a huge breakfast and nurse him back to health after the flu struck the town. I often daydreamed about joining them on a double date with my blonde suitor, but that was such a wild fantasy that I decided to put it in broad sunlight just for the heck of it and try to believe they wouldn't stare at our glittering skin.

I leaned against the bench and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander and my body be still. This was the closest thing I had to sleep.

**Song inspiration: Enya's _May It Be_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to those who reviewed my story. Meant a lot at this point--i can't even say 'aha!' to the viewers not reviewing but are reading b/c my traffic thingy is having 'errors' (air quotes) Anyway, thanks so much! Hope you like this chappy-tar!! Team Jalice! :D**

When the next day came , I moved at five in the morning and began my rounds about the town. I decided to look at the boutiques today. I was so often bored that I thought of boutique visits as a treat and only rewarded myself once a week to make them special. Of course, that was still enough that the clerks knew my name. I still put my imaginary human friends Kate and Will above them for some unexplained reason.

I was feeling odd today. I couldn't recall ever feeling this way before. Was today the day? I believed so. I tried not to think about it too much on the chance I could be wrong. I smiled faintly and turned into the boutique.

The two young ladies that worked there envied me, I could see it in their eyes. I wanted to tell them that I envied them! I didn't find myself vain or anything--I could care less about what I looked like. The only purpose it served was to please the blonde vampire. The first clerk eyed me as I entered, their silver bell tinkled as I shoved the heavy door agape. "Good morning, Alice!" She grinned at me merrily, and I could pick out a voice that had said the greeting in unison. Her co-worker was in the back of the shop, holding a couple new dresses, sheathed in plastic. I could see her teeth glimmer beneath the bright lights.

"Hey, girls." I didn't want to sound too out of place by knowing their names. They were Janine and Jocelyn, I knew. They were twin sisters, and both had pretty hair and cute faces. They reminded me of buttons--that phrase 'cute as a button' rang in my ears every time I saw their round little faces and skinny little limbs reaching out to always help me. It wasn't my place as a beautiful woman superior to them to know anything about them--except for what they worked as. I wasn't meaning to be vain in these thoughts--only normal.

"Oh, Alice, we just got some new dresses in stock today! I saw one and thought of you--it would look lovely on your cream skin." Janine, the one in the back, marched towards me with a long plastic cover still in her hands.

Her smile pinched her shiny cheeks, and her lips shone peach before my eyes. She was a darling little human, with her light strawberry-auburn hair and faint freckles spackled across the bridge of her nose. I smiled delightfully back. I took the garment from her, fully participating in their little game of dress-up.

"I'll go try it on right now!" I was actually rather excited about this trip--usually I would try on a couple dresses with them and leave when the next customer came along. I could always read their sadness in their shiny eyes when I waved goodbye to them, usually with nothing to show from the trip. I only owned perhaps four different pants, six different shirts, and two different coats. I never liked to carry my whole luggage around all day so I had a little bundle tied with string at the base of that silly little bridge. No one went down there but me in the dead of night, plus, it was disguised in shrubbery.

I walked to the dressing room, excited and hoping the girl's judgment was fair. The moment I unzipped the bag, however, I gasped in delight.

I felt my smile grow wider and wider as I slid it out. It was gray--surely that wasn't exactly a dress a girl would die over, but it matched me exactly. The color was sort of a bluish gray, and it had intricate white floral designs all over it in shimmer beading. The first layer was sort of like mesh, but it only added to the delicateness of it. Beneath was the same charcoal like color but a tad darker. The feel of it was silky smooth, it slithered out of my fingertips like fine sand or cool water. I had never felt such a wonderful sensation. It was below knee length, and the bottom sort of flipped out from the black tulle there. The divine little flowers traced up and down the dress from bust line to the tulle fringe. I adored it.

I ripped off my plain white shirt and black pants. They hit the dressing room wall with a muted thud and lay there lifeless, on the ground. The plastic dress cover also fluttered after it in my over excitement.

I raised my arms and dove into the luxurious fabric, the smile still plastered on my face. It fit perfectly, of course. Either the dress was made for me or Janine had estimated a size for me, which wasn't too hard. I was extraordinarily thin. I unlatched the dressing room door and hopped out, beaming. Janine and Jocelyn were out there waiting, of course. Their hands went to their mouths and they gasped in awe. I twirled, letting the ruffles catch the air and flutter back down gracefully. My eyes widened at them, my palms spread out. "Do you think it looks good?"

The broke into gales of squeals and swoons and shrieks. I was glad to make their day by wearing such a gem. "It looks fantastic, Alice. I've never seen a dress look so perfect on somebody." Jocelyn took a step forward, lightly touching the mesh material as if it had become more valuable from touching me. I felt a little vain when I wondered happily if she really meant that statement.

"I'll take it." I breathed. They grinned at me, their hands clasped beneath their peachy chins. I giggled. "But you can't make me take it off!"

We were all laughing as I slipped off my shoes and climbed onto the boutique counter. Jocelyn lightly took the tag in her hands as if were also a delicate artifact, and checked my dress out to buy.

My throat suddenly burst into unpleasant flames--more than that, harsh and sore. I swallowed and touched my neck softly, noting to hunt as soon as possible. I could feel the heated excitement bouncing off the two girls, and I was suddenly tuned close enough to hear the blood sloshing through their veins. I shook it off, not wanting to spoil my day with thoughts of drinking their little bodies dry. I decided to set off an hour or two early to go hunting, so I didn't keep the blonde vampire in suspense. I didn't want to hide my golden eyes in black onyx, plus Figgie had only seen my eyes while I was not thirsty--so I'd be confusing him, as well.

I paid her with such flourish--and believe me, it wasn't exactly a cheap little dress--that I could feel their confused stares. I hadn't bought anything from this store. Not ever. My only plain clothes were from the cheapest stores, and they were all coming apart at the seams. I leapt off the counter and hooked my fingers into my little black ballet flats on the floor. "You really look stunning, Alice." Janine whispered to me, still smiling. I smiled back, my spirits soaring. Jocelyn looked a little nervous but still eager when she asked, "What's the occasion?"

I pondered for a moment whether or not I should gush over my imaginary man, and decided it wouldn't harm anything. Surely they already had confirmations that I was a little loony. I probably wouldn't ever see them again before seeing my love, and then I could let them meet him. I realized this because I was somewhat positive I'd meet the blonde vampire tonight--and that was occasion enough for me. I smiled at them a little shyly.

"This may sound silly, but I had this dream, you see." I began, widening my eyes for exciting emphasis. The girls leaned forth, their mouths open with suspense.

"In this dream, there was this man." Jocelyn squealed softly before her sister elbowed her.

"He was simply the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen, and I saw him at the diner down the street. I know he has to be real, I can feel it! He had this wonderful golden hair and beautiful cream skin and the most perfect features anyone on earth could ask for. I think an angel carved his face from clay, and was perhaps envious of the being he'd created." The words I'd thought so many times sounded luscious and pure as they spilled from my lips. The girls sighed at my description. My face fell a little, for their sake now, for I couldn't care less about the next thing I described, but a normal girl would: "The angel must've been so envious that he tried to ruin the face with his fingernails. He ravaged the perfect face before anyone could stop him. Finally, the face tumbled to earth, becoming a man, perfect despite the scars." I smiled at the final part.

Jocelyn sighed. "That was an amazing story. You think he'll be there tonight?" I could see her pity in my belief very faintly, because I knew a part of her yearned to believe in it herself. I probably over exaggerated the tale, what with the angry angel and all. It was a graceful way to mention the scars, though, because it didn't feel like I was describing the right person without that.

"I have a feeling he will be. I hope so. I want him to see me all dressed up for tonight when we first meet."

"That's so romantic. Do you know his name?" Janine asked, breathless. I was flattered that she enjoyed my storytelling so much.

"I don't. I wish I did, though. Maybe I'll find out tonight. I really hope it's tonight."

"Will you move away after you meet him?" Jocelyn asked, fear staining her happy voice. I frowned. Then smiled.

"I'll go wherever he wants to go. I will follow him anywhere--to the ends of the world or to hell or to heaven." I think that was a good, honest response because they both sighed at the romance involved.

I gazed through the store window. The sun was beginning to set behind the cloudy blanket--it was three hours past noon. Still daytime, but I liked to believe night was near. "I have to go, ladies." I hitched my purse on my shoulder and smiled. They wilted. "Isn't it exciting, though?" I asked frantically, not wanting to see their saddened faces. They looked up, doubtfully.

"When we get married, I will be sure to get you invitations, no matter where I am." I promised. They smiled to each other and nodded. I stepped out of the shop, feeling lovely in my new dress. The bell tinkled to signify my departure.

I never saw Janine or Jocelyn again.

**Inspirational tuneage: _Daisy_ by The Maine**

**Review pleeeeease!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey there faithful readers! Glad you are sticking around! Hope you enjoy the tension of this chapter, I sure liked writing it! Read&Review puh-leeeze!**

Swinging my purse like a happy child, I walked into the deep forest skirting the town. I was beyond excited, and I just hoped that hunting would eat up my few hours before going to the diner. I was now surrounded my green pines and furry shrubs. I placed my purse on a tree branch, mentally remembering where this spot was. I darted into the deep emerald ahead of me.

I tackled down quite a few doe without so much as wrinkling my precious dress. I wondered if I would ever be able to take it off. I smiled at the thought of always wearing it, and wishing it would never become old and tear. I tried to keep my pace reasonable, not wanting to rip my newest shoes to ribbons. They were perhaps a week old, I couldn't remember why I had bought them when I already had fully functioning loafers. Just an impulse buy, I supposed, and I was happy they perfectly matched my gray dress.

I looked at the shielded sun. I was delighted to see it was about 4:30--giving me enough time to find my purse and head to the diner just when Figgie would be arriving. As I walked through the warm afternoon atmosphere, I imagined Figgie's response to my dress. I'd twirl for him like the twins and he'd tell me how pretty I looked. He probably wouldn't ask the occasion, and be rolling his eyes playfully at me by then. I could talk to him while he restocked the bar with fresh ketchup bottles and salt and pepper shakers.

I couldn't wait--but that would probably be the longest conversation of my life. I'd be constantly checking the door for some straggly looking person, probably annoying Figgie enough for him to go chat with the cooks. He had to understand how excited I was! I had, after all, been there for a year or two every single night. I could've probably had a bank account with all the money I'd invested in water. I wished I'd known I would wake up with such a gripping feeling--otherwise I would have a whole lot more pretty dresses!

My smile became a startled frown when the bush behind me rattled violently. I immediately smelled it--a vampire. My first thought, of course, was that it was him. The blonde vampire I had waited for. I suddenly wondered against that--why would I have seen him in a diner? Perhaps he had changed his mind and I would find him early…! I smiled and twirled to the quivering bush.

The figure that emerged was tall, and he was a vampire--but now the one I wanted. When I saw his jet black hair, fear immediately gripped my dead heart, blackening my perfect day. Definitely not my blonde vampire--and I'd never seen this one--he could be dangerous.

He unfurled himself to stand tall--almost a foot taller than me. I gaped at him, wishing to run away. I didn't though. I was paralyzed.

"Hello." His voice was nice, but it was like a crude cough compared to the blonde vampire's--of course, I had only imagined his voice. I knew it was perfect, however. I didn't expect anything else. I cleared my throat and managed to move a tad.

"Hello, sir."

He chuckled at that, and I frowned. Was he mocking my politeness? "Aren't you the cutest little thing!" he barked, not matching his words. I shrank back. I wished the blonde vampire would leap from the trees now and save me from this awful guy. He chuckled at that, too. Behind my fear was anger.

"I'm sorry, sweetness. I'm Vincent." He extended his arm and walked through the bushes, destroying them in the process. I gazed at their fresh roots pointing at the sky, shriveling without the dirt to protect them. When I looked back at Vincent, I saw that his eyes were red. I didn't see red eyes as scary, per say, because my soul mate had them, too. I still wished that they were gold. That made vampires look so much more approachable, like me. I hesitantly took his hand. It had an odd texture--nothing like the smoothness of my skin of the blond vampire's--which was another imagery I'd made up. Certain parts of him were smooth--just not the scars. This Vincent's skin was like paper--it was smooth but had miniscule ridges, also.

"My name is Alice." I said simply, not wanting to launch into a conversation with him, though that was sort of the least of my problems. He sucked in a breath, causing me to snatch back my hand.

"Lovely name." he said, staring at me. I was uncomfortable, but I smiled at him.

"Thanks. Just roaming by? Hunting?" My voice quieted at the word. Not hunting any doe, that's for sure. His red eyes blazed.

"Why, yes. We are."

"We?" I blurted.

He slowly nodded. Then, he startled me to the point of almost tumbling over myself by shouting in either direction: "Perry! Lee!" The wind kicked up, and I found myself surrounded. If I had any color in my face, I certainly lost what remained in that moment. The tall, shirtless guy stepped forward, kicking a bed of dandelions. I flinched. The huge guy took a step, too, but managed not to be such a brute as to kill any plants.

"Greetings lil' lady!" The blonde one said, over enthused. I only stared at him--and his scarred up chest. I was momentarily terrified that this was my blonde vampire instead, but one more look at his face had me convinced. He had a stubbly beard growing the shadows on his thin lower lip and along his jaw line.

The vampire opposite of him didn't greet me, and I was silently thankful for that.

"Hey." Vincent hissed. I turned to him, trying to understand why he was so angry at me. I was very scared. "You want to hang out with us for a while?"

I swallowed. "A-actually, I have to be somewhere at five." I motioned at the sun's position. They all looked at the sky for a real long time…like they were daring me to run. For a moment, I was about to. I should've taken my chances, I later realized.

"You don't like us?" The blonde guy sneered, and Vincent raised an eyebrow at me, like this was something truthful brought to his attention. Like they were calling me out for lying. I shivered.

" You would think that, wouldn't you, Lee? That she don't like us too much." Vincent hissed, glaring at me teasingly. I took a step back, and in a flash, the blonde one named Lee was inches from my neck. I gasped.

Vincent chuckled. I caught sight of the burly guy, looking a touch uncomfortable. I pleaded to him with my eyes, but he only pleaded back. I could see we were sort of the same situation. I nearly shrieked when Lee's skinny fingers laced around my arms and squeezed, pinning them to my sides. Something very wise told me to keep quiet.

Vincent was approaching. His eyes glowered, and I wondered if I would ever see red eyes as something beautiful again. In only moments, he shattered a piece of my blonde vampire to imperfection. Even his scars were perfect to me, but no longer the eyes. Those terrible, blood red eyes…

"We're pretty nice guys, you know." he grunted at me. I was silent, leaning away from Lee's lips…they were coming closer and closer to my neck. "I don't see why you wouldn't want to hang out with some dashing young leeches like ourselves." He whirled to Perry, I assumed, and he barked out a sharp laughas if to please him. As soon as Vincent's eyes fixed on me again, I saw Perry's eyes widen with fear and apology.

"Why don't you take a tiny trip with us, lil' lady?" Lee's stinking breath whooshed into my nose--actually, it was delicious breath. It smelled like human blood. I still crinkled my nose in disgust. I realized in that moment…I didn't have a choice. Lee jerked my arm harshly towards Vincent, and let me go right at the right moment to send me tumbling into his cold arms. Even though our body temperatures were the same, he felt freezing. I gasped and tried to jump away, but he only snatched me up, holding me inches from him. My wide eyes marveled in horror at him.

When he grinned down at me slyly, the nightmare began.

His steely hand gripped my limp wrist, and I knew I had no chance of fighting three male vampires off. I couldn't say I could outrun them, either.

I nearly tripped as Vincent kicked up pine needles in a run. The wind remaining in my somehow shrinking lungs was squeezed from me, and we all ran deeper into the forest. As we ran, I waited for the tears to roll down my cheeks, but they never came, of course, making me feel even more useless. I wanted to believe that this wasn't the right night for my blonde vampire to show up, but I couldn't I'd put so much happiness and thought into tonight--I couldn't just erase all those fantasies of meeting him and touching his face I'd waited for so long. I couldn't just assume he wasn't coming this certain might--just because I wouldn't be there.

We were exiting the forest, and the sun beginning to peek from the gray clouds. I wished I could be walking into the diner right now--saying hello to Figgie and sipping my displeasing water. I could feel my grimace become deeper and deeper as my kidnappers hooted and laughed with each other. Lee was always in my face, touching my chin and cheeks, telling me how pretty I was. I held down the bile I expected to rise--but didn't. Vincent's grip tightened when Lee talked to me, like he was angered by it. If that was the case, I knew I would be in for some punishment, for apparently 'flaunting' myself or something like that. Vincent would try to convince me it was my fault, I already knew that through the hard fingers clamping down like iron.

As I looked into the sun feeling the sun reflect off my faceted skin, I squinted. I saw that the guys' skin hardly sparkled--their diamond cuttings were tinier, so it looked only like unappealing glitter. Mine was actually reflecting off their shabby clothes. I frowned and looked away quickly when Vincent glared at my perfect arm in envy.

**Fitting song: _Hide & Seek_ by Imogen Heap**

**I love reviews! Please write some up for me--the good, bad, and the ugly!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry i haven't updated as frequently as i have been known to do--i've been very busy. Anyways....do you think maybe--just MAYBE we could get to 15 reviews in exchange for the next chapter? Pretty please with sugar on top? Lots of sugar and peanuts and sprinkles! And hot fudge and whipped cream and Edward laying shirtless on top? :D**

In a small boutique on a street where the sun blared down, two twin girls were sighing and giggling to each other as they described their perfect husbands and perfect weddings, and what kind of bridesmaid dress their gorgeous friend would pick out for them to wear. They wondered what type of dress could match her _own_ beauty. Was there such a dress besides the one she recently bought...?

In a quiet diner, a rather overweight yet patient man wiped the counter with a dishrag, in slow deliberate circles. He raised his eyes every five minutes, scanning his dinner crowd for a small woman with a bright glow coming from her. She'd have short black hair. She'd have a smile to stop the world. The man cleaned dish after dish, served and cooked in different shifts, all the while wondering about the show-stopping girl that was supposed to come.

In that same diner, two hours later, the moon hung high and there were only two tables that were filled. Both held couples--young and in love, gazing at each other. The bartender sat at his lonely bar, checking his watch and sighing.

The door opened, the bell tinkled. The bartender looked up, expecting a gorgeous little woman. The couples looked over their shoulders, and suddenly shrank away. In trudged a tall man with his head down, his blonde hair covering parts of his bone white face. His lips were pressed together into a hard line. He seemed to tower in the sleepy little diner. The bartender straightened up. When the mysterious young man lifted his hand to brush away his wavy hair, the bartender gasped and regretted every look he gave to the tiny black haired girl--insinuating that she had some screws loose. That bartender knew that this was the tall blonde man from her dreams--the one with the mysterious scars and pale skin matching hers.

When the strange young man looked at the bartender, the pudgy man had second thoughts. This man had dark eyes…they looked burgundy…perhaps dark brown. Certainly not blue. Yet, he knew this was the correct man. "S-Sir?" The bartender whispered. The tall man turned slowly, eyes wide. He didn't step closer--he was in the middle of the diner. The bartender swallowed and motioned him closer. The young man answered this offer my pulling at his collar until it popped up around his face…but the fat man had still seen an odd texture on his collarbone, even from afar. The mysterious man didn't move still.

"Sir, someone is looking for you."

A dark eyebrow shot up on the man's confused face. The bartender had to admit that the man was fit for modeling tuxedo's at Timmy's Tuxes down the street. The little burnette girl deserved nothing less than such an attractive young fellow. The bartender nervously cleared his throat, keeping the small lady in his mind. "She comes here every night looking for a young man with blonde hair…white skin, and tall. And one that looks like he's been through the forest." The young man's eyes switched across his white hand, a blonde tendril shielding his right eye, and to his rugged and dirt-stained jacket.

He turned to the excited man, eyes wide and trying to understand. The bartender felt cool sweat on his forehead.

"Yes, yes. Her name…it's Alice. She has been looking for you for two years, young man. I haven't a clue where she is now, but she needs you." The dark eyebrow arched again, questioning sanity this time. "I know this sounds stupid! I know! I never believed her, and I feel…terrible." The bartender's voice was tapering, and the couples were beginning to lay down their money and grab their coats. The wind whirled inside the warm diner, and they were all alone. "Anyway...she's a petite little lady, with short black hair and a really nice smile. She has golden eyes--like topaz, you know? And she has really pale skin, like you--and sort of purplish bruises under her eyes, like she doesn't sleep a whole lot." The bartender silently wondered why the young man's jaw unhinged for a second before he composed himself, tugging at his collar again.

That man spoke.

"Do you know here she is?" he asked, barely audible. The bartender could still hear the beauty of it…and it pained him to shake his head. "She cannot be too far." he only said sadly. The young man startled him by swerving away from the diner and bursting out the door. The chilly night replaced him, not comforting the bartender. He sat in the diner, alone in the yellow light, hoping that some miracle brought the two young people together, because he knew they did need each other.

Troubled, he picked up his dishrag and began to clean.

What he didn't know was that the young man wasn't rushing off to find this mystery woman and sweeping her off her feet, but going to the creek. He was going to stare into the water and prod at his scarred skin, wondering how any woman could be looking for him.

He would take a desperately long time, giving a horrifying black-haired demon time to cover up his victim's scent, unknowing if anyone was trying to follow. This evil vampire was deeply infatuated with the small woman he refused to let go of…and she was praying for a rescue that was being delayed…because the rescuer wasn't believing some human's story.

There were some things he considered--the pale skin and purple eyes sockets description…what could he possibly make of it? He continued to stare into the creek when the wind kicked up. It was rather warm for such a dark night, but it caught a scent that possibly saved a small brunette lady in danger.

The scent of cherry blossoms and oranges lifted from beneath the bridge, to the blond vampire's wonder. He leaned to the side, peering into the blackness beneath the creaky old fixture. Hesitantly, he reached out his moon white hand, and it wrapped slowly around a soft bundle of clothes. He brought it out, gazing at it with wonder for the beautiful smell it had.

He brought it to his white nose and inhaled curiously, then dropped it. He looked around, expecting a figure to appear, haunting him and jesting horribly at him. Like a ghost, jeering at all the mistakes he'd made in his vampire life. He couldn't take that. He would go mad--he would set out to find some sort of ultimate vampire coven to take his sorry excuse of a life away. He would beg for that while the horrific ghostly woman pressed her cheek to his and laughed dauntingly in his ear. He would only plead more while she cackled.

But what if that was not the case? Could the fat and delicious smelling human be truthful? He had a special talent, after all…could others, too? Could she really have been expecting him somehow? He was pretty sure of it…he'd been attacked by so many assorted vampires of assorted powers and techniques…anything was possible. He barely ever doubted a thing anymore. He never believed in mythical creatures…like vampires…but that was obviously proven wrong. The only things he doubted anymore was…things that made him happy or hopeful. Vampires existed, but he wasn't very sure about happiness. That was a myth, for sure.

He crouched beside the baby creek and splashed chilly water on his face, letting it drip down the side of his nose and chin. He gasped at the chilliness and debated with himself.

Go after a woman he'd never met…?

Go after a possible figment of imagination…?

Go after nothing…and risk losing either happiness or reason for death?

Far away came a scream, blood curdling and ear splitting…but it was on the other side of the forest.

His whole head was immersed in the numbing-cold water the second it trilled through the air, rendering him momentarily deaf. He didn't hear it with his precise ears. It halted--as if the mouth had been clamped upon in the blackness…ominous and threatening.

He whipped up his head, his hair flinging crystallized water droplets in the dark blue night. He sighed and pressed his hand to his face, closing his eyes. After twenty or so minutes, he picked up the bundle of clothes and snapped the binding string in half. The soft cotton unfurled in his ivory hands, and he stared down at the garments like they were works of art, not falling-apart discount clothing.

He felt odd for inhaling their sweet scent again, but he would regret not treating himself to the tantalizing smell later. The scent was so amazing--like nothing he'd ever smelled before. It was almost as mouth-watering as human blood. The gloom inside of him emphasized 'almost.' Only 'almost', it insisted. He frowned and picked up a new shirt. It was worn out and white, sort of thin. He burrowed his palm inside of it, rubbing the scented softness there. He felt guilty for invading someone's space. If this was truly the mystery woman's belongings…wouldn't she be real? Surely his imagination wasn't that creative…how many people could create the most wonderful scent in their mind? How did he know how delicious it would be? It didn't make any sense.

He crossed his legs and dipped his face delicately in towards the clothing. His head swam in so many thoughts. Finally, he made a decision.

**Tell me what you think! Oh ya--and musical inspiration is...drumroll: _Mad World_ by Micheal Andrews. Read! Listen! Enjoy! Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So This is actually a pretty long chapter--like twice as long as usual. BUT trust me, it's interesting. I hope you agree! Do you think we could make it to like 25 this time? usually i just ask for an additional five, but this IS double the chapter than normal. Almost triple, actually. Please? Next chapter will be posted as soon as you guys make the goal! I just want to make sure people are still reading--not to be evil and hold it ransom. Don't hate me! :D**

"What do you want with me, exactly?" my voice sounded so alien and quiet. So unlike me. I was curled up at the base of a tree, and Vincent had practically become my handcuff. His hand was probably leaving a bracelet of bruises right now…if that was possible. I felt like weeping…weeping for the reason I had escaped savagery, just to be sucked back into a similar lifestyle. It frightened me. I would never meet my blonde angel. I wanted so desperately to meet him…but now he was like a figment of imagination. One I would never meet--only in my visions.

As the words crossed my mind, I plunged into a new vibrant world.

I was stunned by the people staring at me…the vampires. It was like it was happening right at that second…I could see their burning gold eyes. They looked at me in pity, and I could tell I was far below them, perhaps on the floor.

Their faces were faraway like balloons…hovering above me. I gaped at their kind faces. It was odd--seeing kindness, though I was a stranger from it by only hours. I missed Jocelyn and Janine. I missed Figgie. I missed my imaginary friends Will and Kate.

The vampires smiled…all at once, bombarding me with delight. It felt so warm and oozy as it ran through me, racking my body. They said one word each--their names, it had to be. The beautiful blonde woman made me feel insignificant with her glorious beauty.

"Rosalie." She soothed.

The blonde man smiled, and I could see dimples on his pale face. "Carlisle."

The words were soft…they seemed to float. I sat in awe. The caramel colored haired woman smiled kindly. Her wide eyes looked down lovingly. "Esme…" Did she want to say more? Her voice was so fluffy and soft…everything motherly.

A tall bronze haired boy about my age--my age I turned…smiled crookedly. I found myself fascinated at his face, leaning upwards. He said to me, "Edward."

A dim light shone through the space between them each. A huge boy with a mop of dark hair smiled warmly, too, and I was shocked for a moment. Was that Perry--the shy henchman? When he uttered, "Emmett." I knew it wasn't from his comforting voice--even if he was lying he couldn't change his voice.

I looked up at them, the light shimmering like pale sunshine. I squinted, but I felt my face turn into a grin. Esme leaned forward, looking suddenly worried. But why?

I reached out to touch her face, to tell her it was alright--I was okay now, and found that my hand wouldn't move. It was tied up…it was so heavy…it wouldn't budge. I sighed and stared at her questioning face.

"Sweetheart…who's Jasper?" I closed my eyes against the harsh light. I wanted them to explain later…to question me later. Now I just wanted to be held in Esme's arms…maybe with Carlisle brushing the hair from my dirty face. I didn't want to speak…I didn't have an answer anyway. I hadn't ever heard of a Jasper in my life…

"But you keep saying his name over and over, Hon." Esme cooed, and I suddenly understood. In the future…carrying the knowledge of this very vision…I would be saying a name over and over…it had to be my blonde vampire. My angel. Suddenly the light became blinding, and though I shut my eyes against it, I nearly cried out in agony when I opened my eyes to darkness. And pain.

My cheek smarted. I touched it gingerly with my free hand…what had happened? Sharp fingernails burrowed into my jaw and snapped my head to the side, and I was suddenly centimeters from Vincent's face. His eyes glowered in the darkness like bright lights. It was both intriguing and heart-stopping (if mine was able to stop) at the same time. I gasped before he bellowed, "You listen when I speak, wretch!" I flailed up my free arm to put a surface between us. I tried to pry away…look away…anything!

"I couldn't help that!" I heard myself shriek in desperation. He was silent for a second, letting my jaw have some slack. I veered my eyes away...just to see Lee watching intently. The only good thing was that he wasn't inches from my face…but he seemed to be thinking about it. He was on his knees and hands, his shoulder blades protruding unnaturally. His eyes glittered lustfully. I was amazed to feel myself shrinking away--into Vincent's clutches once more.

"What do you mean you couldn't help it?" He sneered, imitating my voice in a nasally pitch as he repeated my words. Yet…I could hear the faraway fear as he wondered if I indeed had an ability. Had such an imbecile heard of that? I doubted it. I sighed.

"I can see the future. Some vampires…they have powers. It may sound weird…but I can." I squeaked, praying it was something somewhat common in vampires. He was silent, to my horror.

"You are quite the amazing thing, Alice." Vincent chuckled darkly. I barked out a laugh and curled up as much as I could with Vincent still attached to me. I was slightly relieved that he wasn't about to punish me for having an ability he didn't--he seemed like the type to harm anyone superior in any way to him.

"You know…Perry over there has a little power too." Vincent whispered, trying for seduction. After I got over my chills, I was open-mouthed.

"Really?" I gasped, praying for it to be beneficial. Two abilities could work together--we could be stronger than Lee and Vincent. Depending on what Perry's power was…

Vincent nodded--a quick jerk. "Hey--Per! Come tell the young lady what you can do with your freakish self." I averted my wide eyes to Perry, lumbering towards us, a little uncertainly. I watched intently.

He seemed uncomfortable. He grimaced subtly, but Vincent was too transfixed on my face and future reaction to notice.

"You can see the future?" Perry asked, his deep voice rather pleasant and unthreatening. It was even a little awed, to my surprise. I was flattered that he was so fascinated. Vincent huffed out an annoyed breath, and both Perry and I turned in distress to his disapproval. Lee sniggered darkly. I wanted to throw something huge at him. Like Perry.

"I didn't ask for a game of 20 questions, Perry. Tell her about your dumb power before she throws a fit." Vincent said acidly. I managed a glimpse out of the corner of my eye. Who did he think he was--insulting us all like that? Surely Perry could snap him in half. He had no right to say I would throw a fit. I was waiting patiently. He was the one being immature--

"I can see what people want the most. Like vampires…of course. More like vampires. Not really humans--I mean I don't really--"

"Oh, stop your stuttering, Perry. I swear that is one thing you should have left behind in your human life." Vincent spat, his voice becoming bored. At least he wasn't spitting flames…

I was glad that he was becoming tired of this conversation…then he wouldn't inquire Perry to see what--

"Per, what does our little sunshine want most?"

Oh, crap. I coughed into my white hand, keeping my eyes averted. Perry's feet shuffled. Vincent growled slightly before snapping, "I'll bet it's freedom, right?" He chuckled horrifically as he tweaked my cheek, rather hard. It would have torn off a human's flesh. I shuddered.

"No…" Perry whispered, his gaze fixed on me intently. I returned his frightened gaze. Vincent turned to him, cocking his head, truly perplexed. Lee slunk closer to me. I froze.

"There's a man…a vampire. A blonde one." Perry squinted and stared at me harder--so I looked away in discomfort. Vincent's grip lessened as he leaned in with interest.

"Really? Your mate?" he asked, sort of curiously...not exactly toxically. That surprised me…I could have sworn that was the reason I was here--to be his little plaything. Or maybe Lee's? He disgusted me--but Vincent weighed him down with the amount he terrified me. I didn't want to talk about…Jasper. I smiled despite myself at the thought of him. I could match a name to his face, and that was a huge treat for me. So was the escape to The Cullens…

"Well?" Lee hissed. I grimaced. He was like a fly that buzzed around your head. He was annoying and disgusting…and he was simply Vincent's parrot, echoing his threats so they sounded dumb. I rubbed my eyes with my free hand.

"No. He wasn't my mate. I've never met him before." I said simply, looking into the moon absently. The vampires bickered in confusion.

"Yet he's the one thing you want most in life?" Vincent scoffed. That sort of stung me. True, it was silly…but I never knew any other way to look forward to something in the horrible life of vampires. I heard myself whisper in a mangled tone: "Yes."

"Not power? You don't want an endless supply of human blood? Or to be able to sleep or eat like a normal human or not sparkle in the sun?" Lee asked. I sighed at his dumb questions as he tried to maintain a threatening position like some sort of puma. "No. I only want him."

It sounded desperate and pathetic, but it was true. I wanted him right there with me. Vincent was silent. They all were. They just stared. I didn't like those stares. They were like Figgie's. Though I loved him as a best friend, I hated how he gave me pitying glances. How he thought I was crazy. Just like in the asylum, where the nurses would walk by with trays of food, and peek through my door window like I was an exotic bird or rare art piece. Or circus freak. That fit the best. I was no beauty in such a time of utter desperation. I looked away, swallowing heavily.

Vincent sighed. I took advantage of his calm mood. "So what do you want me for? Tell me, I beg of you." He did something that made me want to slap him. He smirked, like I was some sort of silly child that he needed to explain something to. I tired to control my facial expressions and my hand from flying up.

"Obviously, this blonde wonder boy isn't around. Don't you think you need a man in your life, sweetness?" He wrapped his arm around me. It was like a rope of rocks. I groaned. I didn't care what he did to me. The thought of being with him was worse than being slapped repeatedly by his hand.

"Don't you do--" Vincent hissed as he felt me tense.

"You will never be my mate." Once the words were out, a fire blazed inside of me. I pulled his hand, still linked on my wrist, and brought it to my lips. I summoned all my strength to collect in my jaws--and clamped down. He howled as my teeth sunk in…ever so slowly. Skin pushed against my gums in a satisfying discomfort. I pushed away his limp hand and stood up, ready to make a run for it. The thought of being with this horrible monster was too much to bear.

As my feet hit the ground in a pitter-patter, I heard an outrage voice shriek, "GET HER!" I gasped and pumped my arms, willing myself faster. Faster than I'd ever ran. I thought I was gaining distance between us after a while, not daring to look over my shoulder--until a huge hand grasped my shoulder. It whirled me around fiercely, and I shrank back and flinched, preparing for a smash, a slap, a bite, a tear. Nothing came.

My eyes widened. It was Perry who had caught up to me. "I'm sorry." His lips moved fast, and I could faintly hear the lithe and sneaky footsteps of Lee approaching. I suddenly grabbed Perry's huge arms.

"You must help me!" I hissed urgently. I could see Jasper in my mind. "You are big and tough! We can get away from Vincent--!" Perry's large finger crushed my lips.

"You don't understand, Alice." he said back, just as tight lipped, like we would be caught. I actually could hear Lee coming nearer… "Vincent is keeping something from you! He does have a power!" My eyes widened as I stopped struggling against his melon like arms.

"What is it…?" I asked, my lips numb. My eyes pricked in fear.

Perry bit his lip, his face agonized. Lee was only miles away now…Vincent must have stayed behind… "He can erase your memory."

I froze like a statue. He could erase memories? I realized that was the most terrifying thing I had ever thought of…more than getting mutilated by his physical attacks or Lee coming in contact with me. He could make me…forget…Jasper. I gasped, my non-pouring tears clogging my throat. It felt like the size of a straw. I felt like I was leaning backwards, but Perry shook me back to life.

"What will he be taking from you…if…?" Everything I said was barely a whisper. Like I was recovering strangulation. Perry grimaced.

"I still remember my family. My mom. My dad…my fiancé." I balked at this. How could someone even consider this? This horror? It was all either of us had.

"How old are you?" I asked him softly. His red eyes flashed.

"I've only been like this for one year." I nodded at him, trying not to weep for him. For me. Somehow, I didn't think Lee was too keyed up about losing his memory. Unless…

"Has he done it to Lee?" I hissed beneath my breath. Perry slowly let go of me. He nodded.

"We were actually friends as humans. He was my best friend. Vincent got us both at once, wishing to create a coven. He could use his power as a threat or tool. I don't know if he'll just turn it onto me later so I won't be so…" He shuddered. I clasped my white hands in the darkness. I pressed them to my forehead, wishing this all away. Pointless. "That's a story I shouldn't tell. You are upset…"

"No. Just tell me later. I would like to know…but--"

Lee flew through the air, a black stain on the blue sky. His arms seemed to reach out to grab something. He landed, his shoulders hunched, his teeth bared. "Come on, lil' princess." His spindly arms were stretched…I stepped away. Perry cocked his head.

"I got her, Lee." His hand gently wrapped around my arm, as to not hurt me. I played along and gasped in faux pain. Perry furrowed his brow, hiding his red eyes in the shadows. Lee snorted and turned around, leading us back to where Vincent was. I was pleading into Perry's ear for ideas on what was to come, but he wouldn't tell me. Or couldn't; his voice choked each time he began.

When we got to the camp, I understood why.

The next morning when Lee and Vincent were at the creek, scavenging for hikers, Perry soothed me and tried to take my mind off the cuts riddled over my arms. They stung horrendously. I was glad they weren't venomous bites...but it was close in pain. Fingernails...steely and sharp...scraping across my once-flawless skin. I wondered if we could travel today--wherever we were heading. Perry said nothing as he held my arm, staring at the purple gnashes.

**Song Choice of the Chapter: _Let it Happen_ by Jimmy Eat World**


	9. Chapter 9

**So here's where our favorite blonde vampy comes back. But you guysss....slackin on the reviews! I asked for 25 last time and only ot to 18. meyfhh. Sorry i sound like a grouch, but that's the reward i get for writing this. OK sorry i am angrily ranting when i should be thanking you for even following me up this far. I'm a bad author. :D**

**So PLEASE do enjoy, and PLEASE do review!**

Miles and miles away, a broken vampire was walking, practically limping. He was shattered.

Unfixable.

He decided to go after this figment of his imagination, and if he found that it wasn't true, he'd trace the first vampire scent he could find and beg for death. He would even offer to gather the fire wood to burn his severed pieces. Surely they wouldn't turn away a vampire so desperate to die.

The shreds of lovely fabric felt odd in his ravaged hands as he slowly walked. The scent was faint...like it had been hidden. Mostly he could only smell human blood and dirt. Apparently, the ghost woman that beckoned to him was traveling with others. Again, he questioned the reality of this. He was never a creative being, so how could he possibly draw up such odd situations? Was he rescuing this girl? Or perhaps asking her to leave her coven to be with him--someone she'd never heard of before? He scoffed at his own thoughts, trying to get away from it.

He pressed the cloth to his face, burying into the cool and relaxing cotton. As he did, he didn't notice the tree branch protruding from the ground, and it was a very un-vampire thing of him to--he tripped over it.

In his depressed state, he tended not to care a whole lot if he fell or stumbled. It happened often. It was the humans. When he sucked their…blood…he was bombarded with emotions. He knew for certain that the next human he'd come across wouldn't live. He was far too thirsty, almost dysfunctional.

He lay in the emerald grass, sheathed in bleakness, his face in it, prickling his skin. He helplessly rolled off the clothes, not letting the grass smother them with fresh green scent. He had enough of that plain smell. He cradled the clothes, thinking of meeting the woman he was pursuing.

Alice.

That was a nice name. It was delicate and colorful. He softly moaned and sat up. He sat crisscrossed and something amazing happened as he thought of her name: he smiled.

It was wiped away almost instantly, for he was so shocked. He hadn't smiled since he had seen Peter and Charlotte so long ago--and even then the smiles were forced for Charlotte's sake. Her huge orb eys were so piercing and worried that he felt the need to at least try to put her mind to rest.

He could not remember the last time he smiled alone, not to please someone or ease them from guilt. He tried it again, and he suddenly felt warm. Another first in a while. He often felt as cold as ice.

The sweet scent whispered in the wind for him to keep moving. He listened.

---------------------------

For the next month I traveled with Perry, Lee and Vincent. It was a month full of hell.

Perry was my only friend. I was terribly thankful that I at least had him. When Lee and Vincent went out hunting, we would swap stories--though I really didn't have that many. His were heartbreaking.

We sat by a river one morning just at dawn. Lee and Vincent bonded the most because Lee was practically mindless and thirsted for blood and approval. Our skin glittered in the morning sunlight, and I noticed that my skin seemed to be duller.

Perry told me that he and Lee had been walking to Lee's house one night to have a little party, so long ago. It was actually Perry's bachelor party, and Perry wasn't exactly exuberant or loud, so he only had one true friend. He shared that he felt uncomfortable around anyone else.

They were rounding a corner in the night, and a streetlamp nearby shattered. They had stopped, wondering if it was an alley cat or robber. They quickened pace, but suddenly, Lee screamed out and Perry tried to grab him. He heard an animalistic scream come from his best friend…and--that was all he told me. I didn't ask for the rest of the story, of course. I knew what happened next.

Lee and Perry had decided to rebel against their creator, for they hated his ways of torturing humans and drinking their blood excessively. The two had come up with a plan, and Lee promised to take the fall if they were caught. Vincent never spoke of his power, so they thought they had nothing to fear but a measly vampire. Lee had said it as a joke, really, like he would simply get a slap on the wrist if they were discovered.

One night, they simply ran off, away from Vincent. When he wasn't carrying a limp arm-full of teeth marks and venom, Vincent was extremely fast. He caught them very quick. He had asked who's idea it was, just like they had planned. Slyly, Lee went with Vincent to the river. Perry waited nearby, and saw two figures approaching in the misty midnight.

He had caught Lee by the shoulder and joked about what a horrible thing Vincent had done to him--he looked totally unharmed.

Lee asked Perry, "Do I know you?"

Perry was afraid of Vincent ever since, not needing to ask what exactly had happened at the river. Lee didn't remember ever knowing Perry, and this was torturous for him. Lee had been his companion since school, and now every memory between them was gone forever. Perry had no choice but to follow Lee and Vincent's violent, power-hungry ways, of fear for losing the images of his parents and fiancé.

We both sat on the rocks now, our bare feet in the river. I looked at the black stones beneath the water, quiet from Perry's awful story. "I'm so sorry."

"I miss them all so much. My mom was this nice little woman…my dad was the best man in town when I was a kid. Nettie, my fiancé…she was so beautiful. I was so excited to marry her and begin a family with her." I could tell this conversation was taking a depressing turn around. However, I could think of nothing to cheer him up. I stared at the blinding reflection of the river.

I saw a large gnash in my shin. Perry had done that. He didn't want to--he'd rather do it to himself--after the guilt for what he had done to Lee, he could hardly stand harming me. He had to, though. Vincent often ordered him to, and I never complained about it. I knew Perry couldn't refuse…he needed those memories as I needed my own. I simply grimaced and tried not to cry out when Perry tried to gently harm me. It sounded pointless and ironic--but at least he was quick--Vincent was a slower worker. Lee would stand by, snickering the whole time. Perry and I would glance at each other as his mindless drably giggles rang through the air. He gave me shivers.

Despite the many limited-time cuts I had, and even though they stung tremendously, I leaned on my harmer like a crutch. We stuck together, in secret, we were the closest friends, but in front of the others he was rude to me and shoved me and laughed at me like the rest. I just told myself over and over that he was only lying. He was still my friend.

One night, he told me, "You need to stop fighting."

I stared back at him. True, I was rebelling quite often. If Vincent laid his hand on me, I could hardly stop my hand from pushing him away or my shoulders from shrugging away anymore. I couldn't just let him do that to me! I scoffed. "I don't think so."

Perry's face was pinched. "Alice, I think he's mulling over the thought of making you…a Lee." he hissed. My stomach dropped.

"I know how much you love _him_." Perry scolded, his eyes wide on the last word. "Don't throw that away! It may be the only thing you have left one day." I knew what he was hinting on--that Vincent would take him down to a river quite soon… "I saw how vibrant you saw him in your mind. You savor every detail, don't you? I still try to piece together every part of Nettie. I miss her. I would rather miss her than never have known her."

I could only nod. This was all true.

"Plus, I don't want to see that happen to another one of my friends again." Perry took my hand, trying to comfort me. I grimaced. "If you ever ask who I am, I will go mad."

I hissed in a breath. "I wouldn't do that to you, Perry. Or to myself. I'll try harder."

"I can't keep saving you." Perry said softly. I knew that. Vincent was beginning to hesitate more and more when Perry volunteered to be the one to teach me lesson. Perry was the most gentle. He dropped my hand. We walked back to camp.

What the blonde, scarred vampire didn't know was--he was only five miles away.

That night, the chase would begin at the campsite. The coven would run at top speed, careening away from the weak vampire scrambling to find them, the scent stronger and stronger, teasing him.

If only Alice hadn't done what she did…

**Sorry. Cliffie. Want the rest? Reviewing is the path to take! Thanks and Team Jalice!**

**Chappie Tune: _Comatose_ by Skillet**


	10. Chapter 10

**THANK YOU for the reviews! You guys are so amazing, that I'd like to add Emmett shirtless on top of that Edward-hot-fudge sundae from a few chapters back. Thanks soooo much, you rebuilt my writing confidence! I am back with a vengance! Enjoy and remember to review, then you get more chapters, i promise!**

**AND i know its gettin pretty angsty, but it will be gettin better for our lil' Alice quite soon :D**

The moon was shining exceptionally bright that night. I was tilting my head upwards to let my face be bathed in the cool light. My arms were very sore…today had been a brutal day. I rolled my face downwards to see the damage. There were cuts criss-crossing each other and blending into each other like one huge wound. It was odd to feel such pain--I had never met another vampire before, so therefore had never really felt anything unpleasant.

I pulled my knees up to my chest. I was alone, and I savored these moments. I enjoyed having Perry near, of course--he was the only kind face around, but seeing him still brought back memories of Vincent. Perry and Vincent were linked, even if Perry despised it.

The cold water moved over my bare toes, and though it was biting cold, it comforted me, just because the water was going its own way. It wasn't being told to do this or do that--go here or go there. It was just running free, and it was nice to see that there was still freedom in my dark world. I had the same thoughts when we passed by a couple birds singing in the trees or saw a squirrel scamper by. It saddened me to be punished for envying such animals…Vincent would shove me sharply and bark at me to move on. Where were we going? What was the purpose of rushing? I was so confused.

I saw the tiny gnats flying against the white moon, and I decided to stop mourning over something unattainable. It hurt terribly--it was excruciating, to tell myself to stop hoping; that it would be this way for a very long time. I grimaced as the words echoed in my mind, splattering the walls of my brain and eating at the edges like vermin. I clutched my head and focused on the water. It reflected slivers and ripples of metallic lace. I smiled weakly and ran a finger amongst the gorgeous patterns, but I knew it was a forced thing. I knew I was fooling no one--and no one was around to tell me this, so I wiped it off.

"Alice?"

I didn't turn very quickly to the voice that sounded like cat tails whispering against each other. I knew who it was--the only person around that didn't bark my name or raise their voice for no reason.

"I'm over here, Per." I whispered back, not risking Vincent or Lee hearing, wherever they may be. Probably hunting. They loved to do that--so much that it sickened me. Why kill when the thirst is manageable? I hated to see their eyes burn with fresh scarlet pigment whenever they came back.

The lumbering shadow settled beside me on the gray grass as I remained perched on an onyx-stained rock. I crossed my arms and placed them over my pointy white knees and slowly turned to gaze at him. "Where are they?"

"Hunting as usual. Just left. Want to talk?" Perry asked indifferently.

I nodded. "Sure makes me feel just a little more human. Like life isn't all about blood lust and dominance." I scoffed and Perry nodded sadly.

Although he suggested talking, neither of us brought up a subject. We knew almost every little thing about the other--favorite colors and times of day and things we missed from humanity. That conversation, however, was short lived for I forgot everything from that past. Finally, I whispered, "Tell me about Nettie."

Perry's responding silence made me want to slit out my tongue and chuck it miles away. My wide eyes quavered on his thoughtfully sad face. He sighed finally.

"She was…so great." I waited as he thought of more to say.

"It was like--when the sunshine was gone on rainy days...it went to her. She had the leftover sunshine inside of her. It was in her smile, her face, her personality. She had the daintiest apple-cheeks that seemed to shimmer. Her smile almost consumed her whole heart shaped face. She had hair that reached the small of her back, and it was strawberry-brunette--sort of like cinnamon. She was the type of lady to love flowers and the colors yellow and orange. She had a rebellious side, you see--at church, while everyone dressed in white, gray and black, she wore chartreuse." He stopped for a moment and gazed at the moon, the silver light making circles in his shining eyes. But he was smiling. I smiled back as he began again.

"She was never sad. If she ever was--which was extremely rare--the sun would never shine. That was sort of like our inside joke, that the sunshine inside of her died that day--but would come back when she was happy again. The light wasn't in the sky, so it had to have died if it wasn't in her, either. I would always try my hardest to make it come back to her again." He sighed happily, and I knew that my tear ducts would be producing merry tears if able. I had never seen him so happy and lost in his own thoughts. I only watched him silently and smiled. His smile was as beautiful as I supposed Nettie's was, and it made me feel much better.

"That sounds wonderful, Perry." I exhaled, and he looked at me as if he had forgotten I was there. I giggled at his animation. He joined in, but it was like a foreign thing so him, I could tell. When was the last time he had laughed? The thought frightened me.

"So…is that what you want most?" I countered. I raised an eyebrow playfully, challenging his own power upon himself. He would have blushed happily.

"Of course." I nodded to this. I turned back to the river, watching it and listening to the quiet tinkling over the pebbles.

"Tell me about the blonde vampire."

My eyes widened before I could eliminate the crick suddenly in my neck. I stiffly looked at him, face frozen. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

"I really don't know that much about him, actually."

"Do you know his name?" he asked slowly, and I blurted: "Jasper."

"And you saw him in a vision?" he asked curiously. I was becoming both uncomfortable and relieved I could truthfully tell someone about Jasper.

"Yeah. I found out his name through a different vision. I uh…I remember breaking out of an asylum, you see, and that was my earliest memory. Seeing him inside my head. It sort of scared me--the images in my head, but then I set out to find him, because I knew right away that we both needed each other." I shrugged, though my throat was constricting with sadness. "It must sound mental: I love him even though I have never met him."

Perry scoffed playfully. "I know he will take one look at you and fall for you. It's fate, right?"

"It had better be. I've spent my whole vampire life looking for him." I chuckled humorously. I realized that my voice was harsh and as sharp as a knife, slicing through our happy mood. He didn't join in to my dark giggle. "Sorry." I huffed. He changed the subject.

"Describe him?" By the way he asked, it was suggesting that I could, only if I felt like it. I did. It made me feel better that such a person was alive in my mind, but it also hurt me to know I would never meet him.

"I can't really say that he holds sunshine--but he holds something. Charisma?" I jokingly shoved Perry as he smiled at my lightened mood.

"Don't insult my poetic words, Alice!" He laughed heartily and held up a huge arm to fend off my silly little pushes. I folded my white hands in my lap and swallowed, my smile lingering.

"Well, didn't you see him in my mind?" I asked. He nodded but I saw urge in his eyes.

"His eyes look so kind, I want to gaze at them. His hair looks so soft, I just want to stroke it. His face is so pale white and smooth, I want to feel it. However, he is flawed in that department--he has these odd scars that I can never seem to place."

"They looked like crescents to me." Perry offered. I had forgotten that he had seen him fully in my mind. That was odd--I've always been the only one that knew what Jasper looked like. I felt a bitterly jealous pang now that I had to share Jasper with someone now--even if it was a simple picture in my mind. I felt silly describing someone that he already saw. I continued, anyway.

"He had red eyes, remember? That sort of makes me wonder. I will have to help him with that, you know." I crossed my arms as if I could suddenly feel the chill.

"And his lips…I wish so badly I could have at least touched them. If I could have kissed him--only once, I would have died happy. If I could." I added the last part a little hurriedly, breaking my dreamy regret. Perry was watching, silent. I shrugged.

"I told you I didn't know much."

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be." I rolled my eyes.

"At least I have kissed Nettie, though. I'm sorry you didn't even…" his voice trailed off. I didn't look at him, fearing he would see the invisible tears budding.

I sighed shakily, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was big and warm and reassuring. I smiled faintly and turned to the hulking yet gentle vampire. I prodded the hand and took it in mine, feeling its warmth. It felt like there was a shortage of that in my world. I squeezed it rather hard, but he said nothing. He pushed his feet into the water next to mine…and we watched the unmoving moon.

**Sort of a sad chapter, sorry, folks. I wish Perry was a real character sometimes, becasue he's the most fleshed-out character i have ever made! I hope you feel the same heartache i do for Nettie and him. Anyway, please review. Even if it is really random or just a little chat. anything--flames, even! If you no likey, tell me! Thanks! Keep reading, the sadness lessens. Sorta. ;)**

**SOONNGG! : _The Call_ by Regina Specktor**

**PS!!! Okay, if you enjoy having your own images of Vincent, Lee and Perry, don't read this! But MY personal thoughts on their looks would be potrayed by....**

**VINCENT: ralph fiennes (voldemort of harry potter and this killer guy that seduces this blind girl played by emily watson on the hannibal lecter movie series 'red dragon')**

**PERRY: henry cavill (he was the son on count of monte cristo--and stephenie meyer first wanted him as edward cullen--therefore i know he is gorgeous already)**

**LEE: ok, so i don't know his full name--i just know he is Chris from Season 2 Make me a Supermodel, and i didn't quite know what Lee looked like until i saw him. I always pictured Cam Gigandet, aka James from twilight, but that isn't right if they're the same guy! So he's chris...google him...and he's sorta creepy :D AND modely. not vampirey. and skinny, but i always saw Lee as a little scrawny. and...ya.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everybody! OK, so i will be gone most of this weekend--meaning no updates. SO please leave me some stuff when i get back--that would be awesome. Please know how your reviews affect me. They make me super excited to get the next chapter out there! pleaseeeee review!**

**I'd like to give a shout out to the reader that reviews and makes me feel better about my writing and OTHER stuff too! EdwardEclipse--that is you! Thanks for the well-thought reviews--they sink in deeper than 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down.' thanks soooo much!!**

"Alice. Come sit."

Vincent often ordered me around like a dog. I bit my tongue and went to him grudgingly. I stiffened as his arm snaked around my shoulders. Lee watch intently, like he was only jealous of his master when I was under his arm. I looked away. "So, tell me Alice…" Vincent said smoothly. I squinted. "Have you had any good premonitions lately? Any humans nearby?" I frowned.

"You know I don't do looking for humans. I look for deer and mountain lions." I hadn't meant for it to be so cunning, but I realized how sharp it sounded out in the open. I saw Perry move with caution, turning towards us. I swallowed. Vincent sighed.

"Alice, didn't I ask for you to watch out for us to eat? We don't want to stick to your tofu diet." I simply put on an ashamed face to made him less homicidal. Perry cleared his throat, causing Vincent to whir in his direction.

"Actually, Alice's little sticks-and-leaves diet is pretty good."

Vincent gaped. Lee hissed under his breath. "I've tried a couple bears, you see…and it feels a little better to not be killing…" Perry scratched his cheek absently and looked away from Vincent's incredulous stare.

"You've been munching on little woodland creatures when we have the best blood out there?" Vincent's hand released from me as he began to crawl to Perry. When Perry noticed him, I saw that his eyes were sort of murky, like sunlight stained with raspberry juice. He was becoming like me--and refusing the human diet. Silently, I applauded him, but became grave when Vincent reached him, climbing to his feet to stare at him.

Vincent had the worst mood swings I had ever heard of. Sometimes when I pried away from him, he and Lee would just go hunting, without a word, expecting Perry to take care of me. Of course, when we were alone, Perry would do no such thing, and we would swap stories. That was very nice--getting rid of Vincent, rejecting him, and talking to Perry.

But other times, I would simply make the wrong step or say the wrong thing or huff out the wrong tone, and Vincent would order Perry to do me in.

I would stand there, confused, trying to find the offense in my actions. I would cry out half in pain, half in acting as Perry would drag his nails across my white skin, ribbons of it rising from the surface and curling like some sort of peeling. I feared that now was one of Vincent's violent mood swings, after all--I'd just been talking to him with an acid tongue and he'd done nothing--unless Perry could see this and directed it to himself. Fearing this, I straightened my back, my hands curling around the dirt.

Lee watched as if it were a suspense movie and he was on the edge of his seat. I wanted to slap him.

Vincent was glaring at Perry's multi-colored irises with such hate that I was shocked when he stepped away. "You think you can just go off and do whatever you want?" Vincent spat. Perry's face hardened.

"Alice can do that--because she's my little ball of fire! She is mine and I almost expect her to be feisty--that's why I love her!"I flinched at these words. They sounded so serious...I felt my throat tighten and I hissed in a chilling breath.

"But you--" Vincent used his hands to elaborate his malice-coated words, then poked Perry's huge chest with his thin white finger. I wondered smugly if it would break against Perry's brick hard torso. "--YOU are not allowed to disobey! You and Lee are my dogs, I am your trainer, and you don't bite the hand that feeds you. I treat you well, Per. I lead you to the best blood, and I'm letting you be a part of the future's most powerful coven. We have her…and we have you." Vincent's mouth became a hard line. Perry just stared back, his face not reading fear or smugness.

I could see Vincent's spindly hair stand on end. He lashed out his white hand--bony like a corpse's, to point at Perry's face…and he hissed, "Meet me at the river."

All I could see was black and red as Vincent moved away, stepping in the nearest river's direction.

I was up now, my palms on the tree so I did not fall over. Every noise was like a huge drum in my ears. My huge eyes found Perry. He was clutching his heart, his odd-colored eyes just as wide as mine.

Lee looked around, smiling at our horror, but not quite understanding. He believed he should, so he cackled that blood curdling noise. Vincent's long strides were angered yet triumphant--I could hear the leaves crunching, getting farther and farther away as he walked down to the water, a few miles from here. I could see Lee was thinking about following his precious master, but his eyes fixed back on us, drinking in with delight our horror.

"Perry!" I hissed, taking a step forward. Lee leapt around us, hopping while he crouched, like a macabre bunny rabbit. His eyes glittered feverishly like rubies as he watched us, preparing to launch at any misstep. I didn't care. I would fight him off if he tried anything--he didn't seem like much. He couldn't have too much fighting expertise, since Perry was the muscle around here.

Perry's eyes dropped, and his palms cradled his head. No. They cradled the memories he couldn't stand to lose. "Perry, you can't go with him!" I cried. Lee frowned.

"Alice, now he has his mind made up. He won't decide against it anymore. I can tell he's always had this in store for me." Perry hugged himself, grimacing. He hitched a ragged breath. I touched his arm.

"I will help you escape!" I whispered desperately. I couldn't have him constantly cackling behind me with Lee when Vincent spat at me. He would really hurt me, too. No more facades. I clenched his bone white skin in terror.

"Alice, it will do no good. He will only get to you sooner."

"Sooner?" I choked, pulling away. Lee lumbered up a little closer, trying to make sense of this. Perry's face was a mask of agony, I wished I could just rip it off.

"The thing he wants most? It's changed. He used to want the strongest coven in the world…" I wanted to shake him as he paused. "…but now he only wants you. He wants you as his mate and he plans to erase any memories you've had that don't involve him. Any happy memories. Of those Cullens you told me about…of Figgie…of Jasper. Probably me, too. He can do that, Alice! He can make you remember certain things and erase the best things!" He grimaced at these words, despising their truth. I gaped at him, my chin hanging loose.

"Alice, if I go now, you could run away."

"No! No, I can't just let you go!" I barked at him, grabbing each of his huge arms. I heard Lee grunt is disapproval at this. He was very confused. "I can't just let you walk to that monster and have your life be forgotten! You'll forget Lee's kindness--something I never even got to see! You'll forget your parents…and Nettie. You told me she was so beautiful. Perry…you'll forget me." The final words slit my vocals painfully. Perry's face became one for tears, but they never came. His breath was rapid.

"Perry!" Vincent's voice shattered our thoughts and filled them with fresh fear, unfeigned. Perry looked desperately at me.

"Alice, go now! Please!" He shoved away from me and ran towards Vincent's approaching voice. Now Lee understood--and he launched at me. Using the huge fear and anger at Vincent for being such a demon, I lashed out my hand, nails out. Lee wailed as I tore at his face, leaving four straight slits. He held his face and fell to the ground. I whirled to run, thanking Perry silently for sacrificed himself…and silently mourning for him, when I heard that very friend gasp, "No! It's so dark…"

I picked up speed, panting. I was wearing my gray dress still, and the mesh whispered against my pumping legs. It was the only thing I had to wear, and my lack of sweat glands made it sort of sanitary. Not by much. It was so ruined now…Jasper would never see it on me looking the way I wished. He probably wouldn't ever see the dress…or me.

My hair blew around my face as I ran, I ran the fastest I'd ever gone. But it was useless. I heard a nightmarish stampeding approach, and a steely trap wrap around my arm. It squeezed so hard I cried out. I was stopped. Caught. Just like Lee. Now…I would lose my memories of sunshine and the boutique, of Janine and Jocelyn's shiny faces, of Figgie's jokes and riddles, of the Cullens as they stood in front of the glorious pale light. I would forget the etching on the park bench--forget the tea parties and lunch dates I would have with the imaginary couple. I still thought of such fantasies when I was sad and broken.

Most of all, I would forget Jasper. Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…I tried to keep his name in my head as Vincent whirled me around. Faintly, I heard Vincent bellowing at me. Jasper, Jasper…

Surely if I had a beating heart--it would stop in its tracks. My throat became the size of a straw, and i could only hear my hisslike breathing, Vincent's panting...so close to me--and the faint screams inside my head: Jasper...Jasper...

**MUSIC: _Together_ by Avril Lavigne**

**OK, seriously, if i get like more than five reviews--i will totally photoshop emmett and edward on a hot fudge sundae. :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**So this chapter is a little short--yes, BUT i didn't want to give too much away in one huge load. Sit back and enjoy--but don't forget to review! please review! I usually crack and give out chapters after like one review--but i really want to be more picky now. please review--its what this story was made for! **

I held on to the name as a child would hold on to a balloon in a storm. The black storm would try to rip it away, hissing wind and screaming thunder at the little girl. She wouldn't let go. Jasper, Jasper… I heard Vincent bellow how I would be forever his, but I only chanted the name over and over in my head, closing my eyes. I feared that if I opened them, the name would fly away. Jasper…

Suddenly, behind my lids, the reddish purple of my skin against sunlight--my eyelids…became black. I began to panic, and I thought of the name. Jasper, Jasper…

I could only see darkness. I was panicking. He couldn't take it away--! Jasper! Jasper! Jasper…

I think he knew what I would be trying to hold on to. The blonde vampire that I loved. He must be reaching into my mind right now, threading his skeletal fingers around my memory. Jas--

I saw black.

I was confused. All I saw was this illuminated white hand in the back of my mind. It was holding something. I knew what it was. It was long and stringy and glowing--there were others in his hand. It was like a glowing bouquet. My memories…those were my memories…

They were important, right?

Of course they were!

But why fight now…they were almost out of my head and the blackness was so comforting…

No! NO!

I tore from Vincent's grasp and ran.

I didn't think--or wouldn't, fearing that I was unable to. I only kept my mind on one thing: Run away.

I pumped my arms until they were sore, and yet I only thought of escape. I knew that evil thing behind me was trying to harm me. I ran into a ton of trees, but I didn't think of the pain. I thought of nothing…until I caught a scent.

That scent nearly got me caught--I could hear tree branches being severed not far behind me. The scent was so strong--it was like some sort of mixture of several unique flavors. They were so tantalizing, and they seemed to call me--scream for me. I nearly fell over when I turned on a dime and careened in the direction it was wavering from. I only knew to run. _Run. Run._

I heard the awful voice bellowing at me, he was less than half a mile behind. I began to hear new footsteps--one quiet, the other loud and demanding. Sounded like something big. I tried to quicken pace. My shoes were long gone--I actually couldn't remember ever having anything on my feet. I ran and ran--until the scent was so strong that I nearly fell over.

I could see a wall of greenery before me--like it was a dead end. I knew it couldn't be. I flew through it, the pine needles scratching my arms, pulling at my hair. I shrieked and landed on dusty ground. I was out of the dense trees, on what seemed to be a dirt road. There was a streetlamp hanging overhead, I saw; with tiny gnats buzzed around it lazily. I scrambled to my feet, clawing the dirt, leaving chicken-like scratching. I breathed a lot of dust in, and I heaved over to cough.

I had to run. _Run. Run. _The word played in my mind. I whirled around, finding a good place to launch into, not knowing what would happen, what I would hit, who I would see, or if I'd get caught.

I gasped when I realized I was not alone.

Five golden eyed vampires gaped at me.

One burst away from them, she had long soft caramel hair and a heart shaped face. Her purple dress was like lilacs…she smelled like the flower, too. They all had interesting scents--not dirt or blood. Well, that wasn't totally true; I smelled the harmless aroma of animal blood. They were hunting.

The woman enveloped me in her arms--it was odd to see how unblemished and unscathed they were. Were mine ever like that? I couldn't remember. I only remembered running.

I didn't know exactly who this kind vampire was, but she took me behind her coven, as if they were shielding me. I silently thanked them all so much for helping me out--just a stranger to them. I found myself collapsing next to the woman, and I threaded my fingers into her soft purple dress, feeling slightly guilty for staining it with my clay-dirtied fingers. I began to pant…and i knew he was coming near. The terrible vampire--and I could only think of _Run. Run. _

_I said the two words over and over as to not lose it…_

**song inspiration: _out of my mind_ by james blunt**

**please review! pleaaseeeeee. and yes, ladies and gents, the meeting you've all been waiting for is just around the corner, so review to make it come early!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok, so i did indeed get a little teary-eyed while writing this. This is probably the most angsty chapter--so get ready. and tell me if you teared up, too, so i don't feel so cheesy. :D**

**I have never gotten flames before, but i have a bad feeling that i ma get some for this chapter...maybe not. well, any review is welcome: voice your ideas! Please know that I was planning on this twist the moment i began typing. Thank you for reading, and there will be good things goin' on next chapter!**

The horrid black haired vampire was flying through the air at my protector…the one named Carlisle. I tried to remember where I had seen him before, and I finally pulled out the memory of the vision. With the light behind him and his family as they gazed down at me. What a nice memory…but I could only remember lines and blobs and murmurs. The light--I could see that clearly.

I knew that the ebony-haired vampire was horrible. He had chased me through the forest, he had given me the cuts littering my arms. I remembered that his name was Vincent. What a foul name. I retched at it. I chanted in my head, _kill him, kill him, kill him_. Behind that was the permanent reminder: _Run, run, run._ That one was becoming fainter and more annoying, but it was the first thing I'd ever known, it seemed.

I watched the fight begin, but I barely registered it. The blonde haired man stepped out of Vincent's line of attack, and the bronze-haired lanky boy grabbed the monster. I was shocked to see the sudden malice in--Edward's face. Yes. Edward. Even Carlisle looked confused for a moment as he looked behind him in wonder. Vincent shrieked as Edward wrapped his hands around the grimy white neck.

The one named Lee was darting at me, now, his eyes ablaze. I didn't even manage a squeak before the gorgeous blond vampire named Rosalie grabbed him, too. She whirled in front of me, a tornado of golden hair, and snatched one of his arms with both of hers. I saw the startled look cross Lee's face before she took him down. He gaped at her beauty even as he was thrown onto the forest floor, pine needles showering him. Rosalie held his hands behind his back, the elbows grotesquely angled. It was unnatural.

The one named Perry didn't run at us with the same fury, he sort of walked towards his look alike--the big guy named Emmett. Emmett seemed as confused as I was as Perry went to his knees before us, his pleading eyes shimmering. I looked long and hard at that Perry, trying to recall him. I could only recall his name--he had to have harmed me, right? Yes, I remembered…he would give me cuts and slaps while Vincent chuckled. But I could remember sorrow in his face as he did so…I was so confused. Perry squinted into the light, looking a bit flabbergasted himself. Like he didn't know what he was doing--he wanted to attack, but his body was staying on the ground, giving up.

Emmett stalked behind him and pinned his huge arms to his bulky sides, wondering why he wasn't fighting back. I stared at them oddly. When I heard Vincent's grunts, the two words replayed like a broken record. _Kill him. Kill him. Kill him._

I actually screamed when it was answered.

Edward seemed to only twitch his wrist…then Vincent's head was rolling away. I felt my eyes roll into my head, as if I would faint it I could. I could see the tiny black tail of hair quiver in the soft breeze. I buried my face into Esme's dress and began to tremor. I stayed that way, hearing _kill him_ and _run run _echo in my mind. I was frozen there and chained to only those words…until I recalled what had come through my mind when Vincent had thrown himself through the sky…the blonde vampire.

I looked up, fully alert, trying to summon details. A blonde vampire…that's what had flashed through my mind when I thought Vincent was about to murder me. I frantically tried to pull his face from the crevices of my brain, but I found I could not.

I began to hyperventilate, and I felt Esme's arms around me. My rapid breathing sounded so weird…like I was chanting _run run_. Or _kill him_ over and over. I faintly saw Esme's heart shaped face looming at me, her wide yellow eyes dancing with worry. "Sweetheart?" she whispered. Vincent called me that. I breathed in and out louder and louder.

Faraway, I heard Lee groan. I impulsively thought of _kill him_, and I heard a snap. I hadn't really thought to restate this. I didn't care that Lee was now dead. He was only Vincent's shadow. But hadn't he been more…?

"What about this one?" I heard someone say. I must've not stopped my _kill him_ rant, which seemed to be dictating the attacks--and I screamed when a hollow pop came from Perry. I didn't want him to die…it didn't seem right. Edward hissed, "Stop!" and Emmett looked at him, an arm in his hands. A severed arm. Rosalie looked just as guilty and angered by the unclear orders as she held a leg. I swallowed. He was only a henchman, right? He had harmed me.

I twisted my body, letting Esme's dress fall. The one named Perry was looking up at them all, agonized but silent. He looked so lost, like he was trying to recall something. Surely that's what happened when adrenaline rushed through you--you couldn't think straight. I knew I couldn't. I breathed rhythmically, and Esme glanced at me, then Carlisle, probably worried for my condition. I stared at Perry--my eyes were glued there…until Esme shook my shoulder.

I turned to her, and I realized all of the Cullen vampires were looking at me. The yellow light pierced through the crevices between them. It was that glorious yellow light I'd seen…earlier and once so long ago. That was my beautiful memory. The light matched their eyes. They looked down at me, and each of them whispered their names.

"Rosalie."

"Carlisle."

"Esme…" Her thoughts were unfinished.

"Edward."

"Emmett."

I knew Esme would say something now--it was like déjà vu. I'd heard it come from her mouth before…then I knew, the moment she began to speak. "Sweetheart…who's Jasper?"

I froze. I couldn't respond. I didn't know.

I'd had that vision and I didn't know then--but did I ever? "But you keep saying his name over and over, Hon."

I felt my eyes widen. I hadn't been gasping for air with rapid breaths…I'd been saying his name. Over and over.

I didn't know him, though! My hands flew to the sides of my head and I began to curl into a ball. I realized I only held a few things in my brain.

I knew my name was Alice. I knew that horrific vampire was named Vincent, and that he wanted to hurt me or steal something from me, so I ran away. Lee was his henchman. So was Perry--but I found at that moment that I held no memories of him while we were traveling. I only remembered Lee and Vincent. Could he have been hunting all the time so I never saw him? I knew these Cullens--I knew them the moment I saw them for some reason. I felt like I shouldn't, but I was blissful that I knew.

But Jasper? I'd never heard the name. Not ever.

But that blonde vampire--I never met him either, and yet he seared through my mind so colorfully and strongly. I opened my eyes to stare at the ground…and at the lap of my gray dress. It must have been so pretty when it was new…now it was stained, torn to ribbons and shabby. I touched the beading thoughtfully as the Cullens circled me like a little room.

Wasn't I in a little room…so long ago? I could feel things--I remembered the cobblestone floor, wet and dark. I remembered weeping on it so many times…yes. I was in an asylum. But for what? I hadn't done anything. Wait…my premonitions. Yes. That was it.

"Hey."

I looked over at our prisoner, the unmoving Perry. He'd lost two limbs, and his head was rolling around on his shoulders. His lips looked blue, his eyes half lit. I crawled closer with the Cullens hanging on my every move. His eyes looked panicked and pleading, like he wanted me to say something. "I think I know you." he whispered. I nodded, by brow pinching.

"You are Perry, right?" I asked softly. He nodded.

"Is…your name Alice?"

I nodded. He grimaced at the pain of his wounds. "I hurt you, didn't I?"

I looked at my arms, ravaged. I knew they weren't scars, but I nodded. I felt terrible for guilting this half-a-vampire. He still had hurt me.

"I didn't want to. I don't think I did." he said slowly, as if to convince himself. I shook my head just as slowly, like my body was in control.

"I don't think you did, but I can't really remember anything but that." I said, wondering if I should guilt him. Maybe comfort was better…but he gave me these jagged slits. But he was slowly dying before me now.

"It seems like I am missing something." he pleaded. My throat felt clogged, and I felt odd for feeling so emotional to this stranger.

"Me too."

Then, I touched his remaining arm and gasped. I suddenly remembered. Perry was my friend. I began to weep.

Perry and the Cullens looked at each other with confusion as I gripped the prisoner's arm and wept. "Perry! Oh, Perry, look at what he has done to us!" I was amazed that I could remember--Vincent must not have been able to suck out every drop of my memory. My memory of Perry being a tortured soul and a friend to me.

"Perry, do you remember me?" I whispered to him. His raspberry-topaz eyes dulled with sadness.

"No."

I wept more. Vincent removed every piece of me from Perry--except my name and the pain he's inflicted on me. "Do you remember Nettie?" I asked him, my invisible tears disorienting speech. He slowly shook his head.

I wailed and hugged him. I felt the Cullen's sad stares on my back. I quivered in Perry's confused arms. "Am I supposed to remember her?" Came his voice. I sobbed and nodded. He was silent.

"I only remember hurting you. That's all. And Vincent."

"He got to you. I ran away from him while he was doing it to me, but I think he…sucked you dry." My voice was broken and shaking. Perry arched an eyebrow.

"Sucked me dry?"

I nodded. "Yes. He took your memories." My voice was barely a noise in the chilled air.

"Will that be all I ever know?" Perry asked me. I closed my eyes. I could hear twigs snapping nearby--collecting firewood. I shuddered. I didn't want to answer him. When I opened my sore eyes, his face was thoughtful and serene. His eyes flickered to his wounds…he shuddered. He closed his indigo eyelids painfully and sighed. I knew something huge was decided inside of him.

"Will you do me a favor, then?" he said softly.

I trembled and nodded. "Anything."

"If these memories I have forgotten are so important, I'm not sure if I want to go on without them." he said thoughtfully, looking at his stump of a leg. The Cullens were silent as they looked on, at the two dismembered body parts. The smell of the fire they'd made pricked my eyes. The smoke was heavy and black in the little clearing.

I didn't try to tell him that he should try to live life. I couldn't--he was broken and shredded, and he had no fond memories to look back to. "Are you sure?" My voice was strangled. He nodded.

I placed my hands around his head, staring into his eyes. He stared back, lifelessly. "I'm so sorry."

I tugged my wrists and let the thing in my hands fall away. It thunked hollowly on the dirt floor. I covered my eyes quickly, not wanting the image to stain my mind. The body before me was quickly swept away.

I sat there, my eyes shielded and my nose burning from the smoke until I felt a hand on the small of my back. I thought it was Carlisle, and I leaned into the arms. I didn't really care who it was. I just sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed.

**I know, i know. sad day for alice and per. don't worry, tho! next chapter will cheer you up, i guarantee it. if you want to be cheered up quickly, review, of course!**

**R.I.P. Perry **

**Song Inspiration: _My Heart Will Go On_ by Celine Dion (yea well Titanic makes me cry everytime.)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Dun Dun Dunnn! Please Enjoy and review is all i will leave you with. Thanks!**

It was hours later when I opened my eyes. It had been Carlisle, and he stoked my hair when I looked into his welcoming face. I wanted him to be proud of me--my eyes, I mean. They were gold even though I was a nomad. Not anymore, though. I hoped I was a Cullen now, not a nomad.

"Your name is Alice?" He asked me. I nodded. I was silent, my sobs left me exhausted. "Do you want to come home with us?" he asked me. His voice was smooth and soft inside of my ears. His eyes were large and amber in the dim light, and I immediately thanked God for sending me him and his family. I nodded again, a little more deliberately. This was exactly what I had wanted.

I hugged the blonde man. He patted my back like he knew that was coming. "Alright. It's alright now." His touch was warm and comforting--I'd never felt it before. Like he truly cared for me--like a daughter. I supposed I sort of was now.

He helped me to my feet, and Esme ran over to us and hugged me. I hugged her back, burrowing my face in her dress, smelling the lilacs. I felt the intense love in her embrace as well. The Cullens that looked my age was coming near…with apologetic faces. Edward spoke first. "Alice, we are so sorry. We thought all of them were hurting you, and I told Em and Rose to--" I raised a hand weakly, cutting him off affectively. His hands were raised in apology, his golden eyes glimmering with regret.

"I think what happened was for the best." I whispered. "He would have led a unfulfilling life." My voice didn't sound like my own. Neither did the words. It was so odd to think it was all over…I'd never again see Vincent, Lee or Perry. I was both elated and heart broken.

I remembered Lee and Vincent jeering at me and teasing me. I remembered Perry holding my hand and telling me it would be alright. I sighed at the memory of his pinched face down at the river that one day, our skin glistening and our feet dipped into the ice water.

I pulled away from Esme and walked around, which felt odd. I was trying so hard to remember things…but I couldn't Maybe if I touched objects like what had happened with Perry I would recall. But how could I remember what to touch to gain memory back? And no one said that would even work. Maybe most of my memories were gone for good, just like how Perry didn't remember me.

The Cullens watched me a little too closely--as if I would snap at any moment. Again…I hated those stares. With my arms crossed and my feet in the pine needles, I slowly made rounds of the clearing. No one spoke. The silence was almost maddening. Suddenly, I heard Edward growl, and his eyes moved to the entrance to the clearing. I froze in mind numbing fear, not knowing what I would see.

---------------------------------

As Alice paced in the clearing along with the Cullens, she did not know that a tall lank figure was pulling away branches and inhaling a citrus scent not even a mile behind. He could smell her sweet scent, and he felt adrenaline as he realized how close he was to finding this ghost woman. He was now convinced, however, that she was not a figment of his twisted mind. She couldn't be. Yet, a part of his brain nagged at the outcome if this was true. He ignored that voice and quickened pace.

He'd been following the scent for two months now.

He was really a terrible tracker, and he often was delayed by his starvation. He only slipped up on one human--and old man that had been crushed in a rock slide. He was already three fourths dead when the blonde vampire found him, and the fear and anguish that radiated off the old little man caused the killer to take a day off from tracking, much as he hated it. He had to stop and try to remember good things to gain his strength back. That was the whole reason he took the entire day off--he could think of nothing happy. Finally he settled on describing Alice to himself and imagining a smile that could stop the world from spinning.

He thought he had been very close only two weeks ago--but found that the scent was become a little fainter--as if she and her coven were running now. He hoped that she wasn't running from him, exactly.

Now, the blonde vampire could almost feel her scent moving. He began to run--it was so close now. He felt that odd thing again--a grin. It stretched across his face, and he inhaled the gorgeous scent that lead him to a wall of dense trees. Ever so faintly came the scent of blood, dirt and smoke--the smoke burned his lungs. He did not care, for he could only smell that citrus and irresistible aroma.

He tore his palms through the pine trees, parting them like a curtain. The greens showered down on his arms and hair, and he frantically looked about. He could only see the bright light first. He squinted at the harshness of it, and was startled when a hand snatched his jacket and yanked him from the wilderness. He stumbled out, his eyes moving around frantically. The face in front of his was angry yet cautious--it was a vampire with odd gold eyes and messed up copper hair.

The blonde vampire barely spared him a glance. The smell was shooting fireworks in the corner of the clearing, and when the blonde vampire twisted his neck in the direction, he found Alice.

-------------------------------

"What in the world--!" I heard Esme breathe. There was an intruder, that was for certain, but I couldn't see who it was. It wasn't anyone I'd remember, I was sadly sure of that.

Emmett and Edward's backs shielded my view. Frustrated, I stalked after them. All the Cullens did, actually. The sound of our shoes…and my bare feet against the dirt road was thin yet ominous. I couldn't stand another vampire trying to harm me or any of the other Cullens. Of course it wasn't human--I smelled no delicious blood.

At that second, Edward moved away from the vampire, awestruck. Emmet gave him a questioning glance before Edward's wide golden eyes fixed on me. I stopped, arching an eyebrow.

"It's…the guy from your mind." he whispered. I silently understood--I was wondering why Edward had been so feverish to kill Vincent. Because I was begging him to inside my mind. Nothing would surprise me now. But--what did he say? The guy from my mind…

My eyes widened and I ran towards the prisoner. I pushed away Emmett and stared.

It was the blonde vampire.

I was frozen. It was him. He stared at me like I did to him--awed and amazed and....relieved. He stood on wobbly legs, awkwardly restrained by Emmett and not fighting at all. His eyes were huge and pleading, and the light behind me flecked in his irises.

I wasn't completely clear on who this was--and what my memory served me was fuzzy lines and blurs. I knew it was the vampire from my millisecond vision when Vincent was sailing through the air. Yet, somehow, I felt that that flash of memory served him no justice.

His face was creamy and pale. It looked luminous to me, but I supposed it could look ragged and distressed to the Cullens. I saw the scars…they were bite marks. I never knew what they were. I'd been positive they were burns…

His face was absolutely beautiful. His lips were full and surprised, and his facial structure was godly. His angular eyebrows were perched above his huge eyes. They were so wonderful to gaze at…but they were dirty red. Muddied, sort of. I knew I should have found them terrifying, but I found them lovely. They were fringed with dark eyelashes, adding to his angelic quality. His hair was perfectly windblown. It was gold, and the shining strands glinted in the moonlight. It was wavy over his alabaster brow, and only one tendril hung over in a sweetly innocent way.

His lips were parted in awe as he saw me. I could see that his teeth were perfectly white and straight behind his open pearl lips.

Emmett's arm was wrapped around his arm, and he didn't struggle or notice him. His huge red eyes looked at me curiously. They slowly closed as I watched in wonder, and he fell to his knees.

Emmet awkwardly held his arm in restraint, and found it was unnecessary. He let the arm fall. It was sheathed in a ratty old jacket with holes bitten out and blood and dirt streaking it. I shoved my way through to get closer.

He bit his beautiful lip, and his brow pinched in an odd expression. He let out a long sigh then, and it was quavering, as if he were about to cry. I cocked my head at the angelic stranger. He began to smile slowly, looking up at the moon. I watched him mouth to the sky, "Thank you."

He smiled and closed his eyes as if he were in some euphoria. He chuckled. It was strange--seeing this vampire fall to his knees and smile like that. His breaths became disoriented as he began to softly cry, though I couldn't quite call it that. It was like he was laughing, but the laughs were like sobs. Soft, angelic sobs. He looked hopelessly happy to be here. But why?

I knew I had a vision of him, and I knew he had to be somewhat important. And why was Edward gazing at me, his eyes so wide? Could he know something from my mind that I did not? I couldn't understand, and I could feel heat inside my body build up with frustration. I couldn't remember! I remembered Vincent--that terrible snake that washed away my colored memories. I stooped to the blonde vampire. Esme had said I was saying Jasper over and over earlier…and I had immediately thought of that blonde vampire's fuzzy appearance.

"Is your name Jasper?" I asked him, sort of like a command. I was so frustrated with everything right now I could bawl. He grinned, his eyebrows knitting together. He sobbed again, and I saw Esme raise an eyebrow out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes. My name…is Jasper."

His voice caused me to gasp. I slapped my non-beating heart with my palm. His voice was so beautiful…if I'd been able to, I would shed a tear at that moment. "Is your name Alice?" he sobbed/laughed. I nodded.

He looked down at his palms and slowly brought them up. I watched intently, and became slightly stiff as his palms were coming for me. I leaned away slightly, and Emmett's eyes flashed in preparation.

But then, his hands touched my face and I thought it was silly to ever back away. The touch was so soft and careful, like I was fragile or not even real.

Like I was only a cloud--like he was a small child reaching out to see if it was cottony soft or just air.

He sighed as our skin met, and I met the sound with one of my own contended sighs. I closed my eyes and felt the wonderful touch of this stranger. So reassuring and gentle…like nothing I ever felt or even believed was real. His touch was feather-soft, yet it sent a pleasant heat through me, rattling through my hollowed veins and making me tremble with delight. I felt his hand twitch a little, too. He was just as affected.

Jasper…

I had heard that name before. It was wedged in the crevices of my brain. I knew I should know this person…like with Perry…but I was coming up blank. I stared into his huge red eyes. "I don't understand." I murmured.

His lips became a hard line of distress. By no means was this vampire unattractive--I could plainly see beauty in his soft features and wide eyes. Yet, I could see emotional fatigue in him. His eye sockets were deep brownish purple, like painful bruises. His lips weren't colored darker than the rest of his face--his visage was a mask of sheet white. His golden dark hair hung in tiresome strands around his open, expectant face. His eyes were huge, unblinking, and impossible to avert my sight from.

"You were looking for me...weren't you?" His soft voice trembled so fearfully that I just wanted to lie and say I was, but I couldn't recall! I couldn't recollect a thing! Only his name rang a soft, soft bell.

Suddenly he touched my hand, laid down in my lap. He touched it and drew back, testing me with his pooling scarlet irises. His soft touch was so tingly and warm, and I knew that I had to remember him. It was so close that I could taste it…it was right there in my brain, disguised and in hiding. I stared at him, my back stiff and my hands remained clasped. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

His huge eyes were fixed on me in pure desperation. He wanted me to say that I knew him…I was looking for him. I clenched the dirty dress folds and scrunched my eyes. He let out a strangled gasp as I made such an effort to retrieve on memory of him.

His hands went to mine again, this time harder. They squeezed around my wrists in hope. They were trembling but smooth around my unmoving limbs. I could hear him gasping louder, hoping… The gasps were verging on sobs, like my not remembering him was tragic. Was it? I didn't know…

His touch…so warm and comforting. So soft and special. Like we were meant to touch… His hands caressed mine as if time was ticking away.

Jasper. Jasper. The name…a soft tinkling bell inside of my mind…

It was growing, becoming louder, like a shushed voice standing tall now. Jasper.

Jasper…the blonde vampire.

The one with red eyes.

The one with the face carved out by a jealous angel.

The one I spent two years at a diner for, ordered a water every night for.

The one I purchased the dress that hung to me in tatters now for.

The one I loved and lived for.

The one that saved me from savagery in the asylum.

The one that Vincent tried to erase from my mind, but my mind was too strong. Jasper was somehow stained on every piece of my brain, because my life revolved around him. He was my purpose. I wondered how I wasn't dead from living this long without his touch.

"Alice…" came his mind-numbingly perfect voice. I opened my eyes to his wonderful face…his ruby red eyes, serene and loving. "I've been looking for you for a long time."

I closed my eyes and whispered, "I've been looking for you even longer." I realized these words were so true, that my heart swelled.

Then, he kissed me.

**Ohhhhhh yeah! He's here, everybody! Jasper and Alice are united. Tune in for more happy romance chapters...sprinkled with a little angst, though. Whichever you're here for, you'll be gettin' it!**

**Song choice: _Unintended_ by Muse**


	15. Chapter 15

**ahhh! alice's angst is OVER! she is with her dream man. Isn't that great? Enjoy their loveyness in this chapter. It'll make you happy. Please review dawllings!**

I would have done everything all over again for another kiss from Jasper. He was what I had been looking for for so long, not knowing if he was even real for sure. I had always prayed for him to come and save me, and he would never come. There were even times when I was convinced he was not real. Everything in my past was grim and dark, but now…the future was looking bright and free.

He didn't pull away from the kiss, and I didn't dare either. I forgot about the Cullens for a moment, a long, long moment. I had found Jasper. It was the happiest moment of my existence.

There was so much I wanted to ask him, but I couldn't bear to part from his lips or touch. I touched his face, trying to match his feather softness, and caressed his cheek. Touching him was nearly as beautiful as being touched by him. I touched his soft hair, too. It was slightly dusted with dirt, but I didn't care. My white fingers became tangled in his locks, my wrist pulling him closer and closer all the time.

My heart sang and my gnashes went numb, and I forgot about killing my friend Perry and I pushed away Vincent's evil face. The Cullens had saved my body, they really had, and I would be eternally grateful for that and their hospitality…but Jasper saved my soul. I would've been a shell without him, and he appeared at just the right time to fill me up with warmth. I whispered his name in between kisses, and it left a sweet and pleasantly hot sensation on my tongue.

Even when I pulled a millimeter away, I gasped at the coldness away from him. I kissed him, never wanting myself without him again.

I broke away when the thunder above clapped, startling me. I stared up at that sky, my eyes wide. I felt his face angle upwards too…and the rain began to pour.

Faintly, I heard Carlisle say that we should head home. Esme was agreeing, her hair was plastering against her face. She turned to me, her mouth parted. Rosalie was wringing out her hair and talking to Emmett. Edward was taking long strides to speak to his family…

I lowered my eyes, feeling the wind whistle a melody in my ears. I exhaled as the water washed over my face.

Jasper was watching me intently when I looked away from the sky. His eyes were wide, his face calm. He smiled slightly, still wearing a face of amazement. "Oh, Jasper." I could only breathe at his flawlessness. "I'm so happy." I giggled like a silly girl before my soul mate. The water was pouring hard, and the Cullens were beneath an umbrella of trees, waiting for us. Jasper helped me up, but our eyes never left the other's. I probably looked a little odd from staring at him with such unblinking eyes. I couldn't stop rambling and sighing. "I've waited so long for you. I didn't even think you existed." He closed his eyes and chuckled.

" Actually, I thought the same thing. I feared I was chasing a dream or a piece of my imagination." The rain weighed on his hair, and he used his glowing snow-white hand to brush it away. I touched his face at the sight of it, and he smiled at me. I felt my cheeks pinch as the tears suffocated me with happiness. He cocked his head slightly, his merry grin disappearing. His eyes were half closed as they flickered to my lips. I nodded minutely to myself, the bliss building up again. I felt his hand on the back of my neck, coaxing and comforting as he pulled me close. I pressed my hands to his dampened chest and allowed him to kiss me--I couldn't believe this. Not any of it.

His arms wrapped around me tightly--I could feel his rough jacketed arm brush against my ear lobe. My little hands snaked around his ribs until our bodies touched. He must have heard one of the Cullens cough or something, because he began to slowly walk. I broke from him, smiling brightly.

He rose his eyebrows as I stepped back, holding only his hand as if it were a memento. I blinked at him and looked into the gray sky. The water splashed against my grinning visage. Tiny water droplets quivered on my eyelashes. Crystallized dew hung in my hair. I flung out my free arm and let my head roll backward, letting the refreshing rain bathe my neck. I felt the ecstatic trembling inside of me, my arms outstretched, my teeth glimmering.

I caught sight of Jasper, and he was doing the exact same thing. He stepped away and simply looked into the sky, his eyes fluttering closed like a sleepy dragonfly's wings. The water ran down the perfect planes of his face, and he blew out a happy sigh. I lowered my hand, my fingers delicately pointed. His eyes were so gorgeous and lovely. Red, yes, but angelic.

As if I were a priority--as if the time was ticking, he ran to me and scooped me into his arms. I happily melted in them. They were hard and strong and would take care of me, as I would take care of him. My arms hung limp as he leaned over me, studying me. I was facing the bleak sky, but he shielded me.

He began to walk with me cradled in his arms, and I silently applauded his ability to support me and walk while kissing me at the same time.

I hadn't said more than twenty words to Jasper, yet I loved him more that I had loved anything in my entire time on earth. When we found the Cullen's home, Esme told us that she would make us a room out of the spare one. I could tell that she thought we would be needing it.

I now sat in the darkness, on a pillow on the floor, in the cool darkness. My hair was dark with wetness, and my shoulders were still damp.

My dress had been so dirty and moist that I had became a walking mud puddle. Esme silently took it from me after helping me into the shower and handing me fresh sleepwear. She offered me nubby PJ pants and a cotton tee, and I took it, not asking for anything more alluring. I was deeply sure that Jasper wouldn't feel differently after seeing me in that ratty get up before. I asked Esme not to throw away my dress, and ignored her glances as she held it away from her. Pine needles potruded from it and holes were gnashed through the mesh, but Esme could see in my eyes that I truly didn't want it tossed. She wordlessly took the rag away, held at arm's length.

Jasper was on the other side of the room, laying on the bed as i lay on my tummy on the floor. I was deeply bothered that we weren't in an entanglement of passion already. It was like I had met him before and loved him before…and now we were reunited. It was torture not to be in his arms right now. Then again…there was some oddity to it. We barely even knew each other, after all. I didn't care though. Not at all. "Jasper?" I whispered into the lonely darkness. I was considering finding him in the room when he responded.

"Yes?"

I swallowed. "Won't you come sit with me? I want to be touching you. So badly."

Silence. "I'm afraid."

"Why?" My voice was loosing calm. I knew this was odd for us both--but wasn't it obvious how much I loved him? We didn't know each other too well--but our interaction made up for it.

"I'm afraid that this is all a dream." His voice was mellow, smooth and thoughtful. I closed my eyes.

"It's not. I promise." Now I was on my feet, trying to seek him out.

"But…you are too good to be true. I--" His voice broke into sadness, and I urgently found him. It was so black in the room. My fingers brushed against his jacket, and I made little fists around the cloth, not letting go. I leaned in, intoxicated by his scent.

"If this is a dream, don't you want to live it to its extent?" I murmured. "I sure do."

Jasper chuckled darkly. My eyes became wide and I fidgeted.

"If this was a dream for you, Alice, it would be a night mare."

I froze. What did he mean? He was my angel--the worst thing he could do was leave me. I couldn't bear that thought--! "I'm sorry." His voice was dripping with apologetic regret. I relaxed, knowing my urgent clutching gave me away.

"Why would you say that?" I leaned in closer, feeling his uneven breath.

He didn't respond. He took my hand, actually, and I was suddenly feeling something smooth. It was so beautifully smooth…my fingertips felt electrocuted and hot. Suddenly, my fingertips grazed over something out of place. It was raised and felt cooler than the smooth surface. It was bumpy and uneven with no rhythm or rhyme to the oddly complex pattern. What was that?

I felt the odd thing tremble at the same moment Jasper sighed.

Someone else may have draw back their hand in horror, but I simply pressed against his scarred skin more. "I don't care." I whispered to him. He didn't say a thing. "Jasper, you saw my arms." The cuts…the awful jagged gnashes…

"Those will heal." His voice was harder now. It disturbed me.

I realized that his shirt collar was cutting into my white flesh--I must have been touching his lower collarbone. It was odd too feel so strongly to something you couldn't even see. The dark was leaving me without his face to see. I huffed and leaned in my hand's direction.

My fingers curled around his cotton collar--it had to be either Carlisle's or Edward's for it smelled clean and fresh. I gently tugged the collar down, and let my lips touch his skin. It felt so pure and good against my soft mouth. It was warm and made my whole body tingle, beginning with my tiny lips.

Jasper's body was slightly quivering. I wondered why. Hopefully I was giving him the same tantalizing effect by kissing his ravaged skin with gentleness. His had touched my neck, barely there. Like he had gone to my nape with the thought and stopped short. For now, he was truly trembling. I felt invincible as he quavered beneath my touch. I moved my lips deliberately but soothingly across his flesh.

His hand finally touched me, and I fell onto him, my whole body burning with the desire for him.

He was what I had been waiting for, and I still couldn't believe I had found him. It only took a couple months or terror, but it was worth it. Every kiss and every touch reassured me.

Jasper's breathing was strained as I touched his neck, finding a new scar. I didn't care. I really did not now, for I still believed in my angel of jealousy story for the time being. When he was ready, he would tell me how he got them. He would tell me his story, and no matter how terrible or even how grand, I would hold his hand and watch his beautiful lips spin an image in my mind.

And I would tell him mine. But, that was a few more steps down the road.

Right now, I only wanted to do with him the thing I had always wanted. I wanted to kiss him and love him. I could do that forever and die someday of bliss, with a smile on my face and joy painted on my heart. I realized at that second that such a day was nonexistent. This could go on forever. The thought elated me and I only kissed him harder, my passion burning feverishly enough for both of us.

Our ankles tangled and our bodies meshed like puzzle pieces. That felt like the perfect fitting of what I believed. We were now complete with each other. Before, we were only pieces and strips of our true selves, and I had found the remaining chunks today. And I believed that I was his missing pieces, and now we were both whole. Even on my happiest days…if I had ever had any…I was incomplete. Had I ever been happy? I only remembered terror at Vincent's side.

I was hurried to shove Vincent out of my mind as he entered, and I pulled my palms across Jasper.

The sound of his breathing was the sweetest music I had ever heard. In the darkness, I felt his hands and arms protecting me from anything but himself. I smiled as he kissed me harder and harder…and I let out a contended sigh as his lips met my neck. My fingers burrowed into his fine hair, and the rhythm of his jaw shyly rubbing my collarbone made me sigh with delight. He said my name, and the sound was so sweet--it made my dead heart swell. I whispered in the dark, my head angled to the ceiling, "I love you."

**ahhhh. I love them to bitts. Obviously why i wrote this. and YES this was a tad bit scandalous, but i've read worse and it IS rated T. :D Isn't it like a Robin Hood quote (disney fox version) where the little lady fox says: "In his absence my love grows fonder" or something like that? Not word for word. That's sorta part of the inspiration this chapter.**

**Song Choice: _Come What May_ from Moulin Rouge!**

**Love these lyrics: "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place--Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace--Suddenly my Life doesn't seem such a waste..."**

**"And there's no mountain to high--No river too wide--Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side--Storm Clouds may gather and stars may collide--But I love you until the end of time"**

**(I know its often used in Jasper/Alice relationships, such as my fave fanfic 'pull of polaris' [It's favorited. Go read it. It is so amazing. Best fanfic ever.] and it's on the aliceandjasper fansite as their playlist together. It just fits and i've held off this song for a while. I love this song!)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Here you are, my wonderul readers! truly, this story lived through YOU all! If you never reviewed, i would have stopped a long time ago. Now, please enjoy this alice and jasper fluff :D (need some after all that angst, y'know?) but WARNING! There's crazy vamps, shirt ripping, and scandalousness in this chapter! haha!**

Jasper was the most amazing being I had ever met.

His absence in my life made me only appreciate him more. When he left to hunt--even for a moment, I felt sad and gloomy--like he had torn a piece of my heart out and brought it with him. I didn't get mad--how could I? He couldn't help it that his hand was shackled to a chunk of my nearly broken heart. It was fragile, I had to tell him. It was his, I would promise, but he had to be careful.

I would hold his face and say this with seriousness, but then he would touch my cheek, too, and tell me his was just as fragile. He said that the hope of me existing was the only string that had stitched the pieces together. That made me feel wonderful--that we couldn't survive without the other. We were each other's oxygen…though that isn't a very good metaphor since we needed no air…but still. I had never known such a thing that was loved so much. I didn't think it was possible for anyone--let alone me.

I did things with him I had never done before--like take a walk not alone. I was heading for the door to go on one solo, but he had asked where I was going and I immediately told him. He smiled and asked if he could come. I was surprised--I didn't think he would really want to. I later realized how silly that was. I wanted him to go, and I should have known he wanted to spend time with me, too.

We walked down the dirt trail snaking behind the Cullen's house. The nearby lake threw vibrant colors in its rippling waves: it was a kaleidoscope of oranges and purples and reds. As I marveled at the beauty of the seemingly new world around me, my hand was taken. The last person to hold my hand had been Perry. That immediately saddened me, and I tried not to show it. I kept my face composed and found the dirt trail with my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked. I gaped, my cover totally blown by this. How did he know? I was a master at keeping my emotions hidden in the crevices of my private mind. Back with Vincent, I had to learn as to not make him angrier. "How--?" My mouth unhinged more.

Jasper's smile curled shyly, ducking his head slightly, like a bow. I wanted to kiss both of his cheeks at that second, forgetting my shock. "Well…you told me once that you could see the future, right? I mean…that's how you saw me coming." He placed an alabaster hand on his chest, still smiling and swinging our hands. I raised an eyebrow and nodded, trying to pick out the conclusion before he had to tell me.

"I have an ability, too." The sunset-orange glow became brighter in his face. He enjoyed telling me new things about him. "I can read and manipulate emotions."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up and my jaw unhinge. "Really? You can tell what I am feeling?"

The idea was both fascinating, helpful, and horrifying. Imagine--if I wanted to tell him something secretively without the vampire's amazing ears around picking up, I could. However…what if we were doing something as simple as going on a drive and I suddenly see his face turn in the cutest way…I couldn't control that!

"You're nervous?" Jasper asked, and I was horrified at how quick he was with the emotions. How many times had I stared at him, thinking so passionately…. "Alice? What--?" He broke off then, chuckling. I huffed.

"Why are you just now telling me this?" I sighed, embarrassed by all this.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you alone--when the time was right. Don't be embarrassed about anything. Every time I feel your emotions, I always feel the same."

That made me feel slightly better, and I didn't have to tell him that.

When I looked up, he was smirking. "What?"

"I can manipulate emotions…so…" He arched an eyebrow and I suddenly felt different.

I would later be slightly angry with him for what he was about to do, but at the moment, I felt like if I didn't do it, I would die. It was such an odd experience.

Inside of me, he planted a hazardous bud of explosive romantic tension. I think he may have underestimated my response, like maybe he was shooting for just a little kiss and a huge hug without my control, but that was not what I dished out. You see, when the person that you've been longing for your entire life forces you to like them even more--things get a little intense. That would be an understatement. Imagine his surprise.

So there we were, on the dirt trail, outdoors…with me grabbing on to him like some sort of parasite, mashing my lips to his. I felt him nearly stumble over from my total need and my weight--just because it was unexpected. I was only one hundred and five pounds.

There was a loud ringing in my ears that was probably replacing my nonexistent heartbeat. Adrenaline became like a lifeline--again, impossible for me, but the best metaphor.

My palms cupped his face, and my mouth was glued to his--perhaps for hours…as I longed it to be at that second. Even though it was more than he bargained for, luckily, he didn't shove me off in surprise. At that point, I probably would have kicked up dirt by jumping back to my feet and running after him, thirsting for him like blood.

My ankles were hooked together behind his back, my legs hitched on his slim hips. Good thing he held me up a bit--even a vampire cannot obey to the gravity laws at such a moment of lust.

Inside my head, I was wondering what I was doing to Jasper. I was threading my fingers into his hair and feverishly tugging him towards me. My lips were moving quickly and eagerly over his, and I could hear my panting--short and strong. After a while more of kissing, I could faintly hear his own breathing in a chorus of mine. Yet, the noise was so faint over my ringing ears that I could not fully appreciate it.

The ringing, the ringing--it became earsplitting, but I did not care. I only cared about his lips touching mine and how perfectly they matched. There were times in which it happened that I thought were so perfect that I mismatched them, actually. I turned my head and kissed his whole face, my eyes fluttering open and close in a flurry. I could only see his face, I could only hear the ringing.

Only when I angled my head so oddly to kiss his throat and trail down his neck did he slightly push away. I could see the overwhelming in his eyes as he had to gently push away while I tried to grasp him like a lunatic. I was an addict. I could tell he was trying to tone down his little joke, but it wasn't doing much. I could see what I was doing from afar, and I was telling myself to calm down. It was useless. It really was like blood--human blood, flowing and stinging my lips and nose with wonder.

I would have laughed if this was happening to anyone else but me. The way I must have looked: trying to grab his shirt collar. I did, eventually, and I pulled with all my might to get to his lips again. Jasper resorted to letting me go then, but the ringing of my ears couldn't even distract me from falling. I stood up strong and tall (to his shoulder) while he let his guard down, and I continued to kiss him, shoving all my new passion at him unknowingly. He turned his face away, and I could feel his discomfort beneath my lips.

What a sight we probably were. I noticed that I had torn his collar, and that triggered more of my overly passionate thoughts. My eyes blazed open, startling him, and I licked my lips as my fingers became a grip of steel over the flawed stitching. "Alice!" I heard his exclaim as I tugged. We both fell to the dirt road. He cried out in shock while I just tried to get my fingers thoroughly around the fraying fabric.

It ripped. It ripped right down to his ribs, and he couldn't stop me then. Maybe if he got up and ran. That was his only option. I instantly brought my hands there, snaking them inside the blue shirt with his warm body. I didn't think he would even consider leaving me now--didn't he want me just as much? Doubtful…since I was running on artificial lust.

I felt his long body slide from under me, and I was alone, face down on the dirt road. I think he took my passionate emotions with him, because I was suddenly sick to my stomach with loneliness. I squeaked out in reply and looked up, my talon fingers relaxing down in the dust. The front of my shirt was smeared with dirty chalkiness as I tried to get up to my knees, at least.

Jasper looked down at me, his arms held away from his body. His lightening eyes were wide and reflecting the sunset's hues. He was panting hard, his lips parted like he had just said something that I hadn't caught. His shirt was so ruined. How would we explain while we walked inside the Cullen's household? I could see his ribs and stomach muscles contract with every breath he took. I had to look away in case there was some craziness left in me, waiting to be lit up.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't--think it would…" He let out a dragging sigh. All of his words were obscured and shaking. His jaw clenched and relaxed, his eyes were wide as he waited for an acceptance to the groveling.

I gave him my best furious stare, and tried to keep the dying anger inside of me. He flinched back, but the second he did, I let the bad emotions out and laughed. He looked confused as I rolled around on the dirt, holding my sides and giggling. "What--?" Jasper hissed at me, but all I could manage between gales of laughter was: "S--some emotion reader y-you are!"

Then he smiled.

I laughed some more until he came to sit by me, and after I quieted down, I sat up. Smiling at each other with silliness; the laughter drawing lines in our composed faces, we looked on at the lake. The colors reflected were becoming darker and grayer now.

He wrapped an arm around me, and I tilted my head on his broad and naked shoulder. We both let out a sigh at the same moment, still quivering with laughter.

I didn't notice when he covered his bare shoulder from me after realizing it was out in the open. I didn't see.

**Yay! Yes, prolly the most scandal-riffic chapter of the story, tell me how it was... haha. please click the button below--the one that says 'review chapter' :D more to come! thanks everyone!**

**Song of the Section: _Life is Beautiful_ by Vega 4**


	17. Chapter 17

**This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but it needs love, too! More alice and jasper lovable fluff. Fluff=Happiness**

I don't know how to ever thank the Cullens. They took us both in without batting an eyelash, even though we were both wounded and broken. We were both corpses on walking feet, but they saw us revive eachother simply by seeing eachother. I was glad such kind people took us, people that wouldn't mind our starry gazes at eachother and imtimate busses. They took care of our healing bodies while it was up to us, eachother, to rebuild our souls. I felt like mine was already three-fourths alive again.

I remember the night we came home vividly.

Jasper went with Carlisle and the sons to get tidied up, while I went to Rosalie and Esme. I already connected to my motherly figure, but Rosalie rather intimidated me with her beauty. She probably saw my stares, and gave me kind sister-like smiles and rubbed my arm as I was led to the shower in my rag dress. I wouldn't voice my wanting to share the shower with Jasper…no need to use up two bathrooms at once…

"Do you need any help?" Rosalie asked, holding a towel for me. I gazed at the clean fabric, it looked so soft and warm. I just wanted to jump in right now--but not alone. But not with Rosalie, either. I simply shook my head and took the soft towel, already greatful for everything they'd done. Esme's hand touched my back as she let me enter the moist room.

Ah. A shower. I hadn't had one in two months. Two whole months! The realization was shocking. Surely it was not sanitary, but being a vampire, at least I stunk of woods and not body odor. I tucked the towel beneath my arm (the scars already seemed to be cleaning up) and hopped in, hearing Esme's soft laughter behind me.

I took off the dress and laid it down with care, as to not let it unravel in my palms. It was sort of silly to care anymore, I suppose, but I wanted it because it had been for Jasper. I left it on the countertop, practically puddling in filth.

The water was practically boiling from me not stepping in to cool it down, but it felt so perfect. I actually drew a very long and loud sigh as I walked beneath the shower head. The hot droplets rolled down my face and over my eyelids. My hair plastered to my forehead and I simply stood like that for several minutes before using some shampoo, just to get rid of the piney smell. I tried not to let my mind roam too much--it would wander to my recent past. The bad stuff. I piously scrubbed my scalp and let the scalding water hit my head. The skin felt a little raw now.

I decided to think of Jasper. The moment the name popped up, I had the thought to grab my towel, wrap up in it, and bolt down the hallway to see him. I gripped the silver bar inside the shower as restraint, giggling at my enthusiasm. What would my new parents think? I calmed myself and grabbed a bar of clean soap. The smell was very nice and foreign.

I scrubbed almost half of the bar away, and happily used some of Esme's body wash. I was smiling the whole way at the thought of having clean skin again. I would wash away Vincent's touches and the dirt from my cuts. They stung now from the soap and were beginning to pop up in swelling, but I didn't mind. As long as they were cleaner, they felt more normal. I didn't want them to heal with dirt inside of them still, like I had been forced to often do in the past.

Sure, I would dash to the nearest water supply when Vincent halted us, but there was no soap nor time to thoroughly scrub down my wounds, I stopped messing with them and let my soaked arms drop. I listened to the soft hiss of the steam and the pitter patter of water pelting my skin.

After maybe two hours…which I didn't feel too bad about using that much shower time…I emerged. Surely the Cullens had expected that. I listened for the squeals of the pipes still running Jasper's water, but it sounded like he was done with his shower, too. I smiled in my little wrap around towel, and Rosalie arrived from a powder blue room I could only assume as hers. She smiled at me, a little confused that I was standing in the hallway naked when Esme had given me clothes--they were in the bathroom.

I would have blushed, and I slowly crept back in.

I dressed quickly, the need to see Jasper again becoming more urgent. I wouldn't have been surprised if something was on backwards, but I didn't stop to check. I flung down the stairs, by little hand buzzing over the rail. The shirt I'd been given was short sleeved, so my cuts illuminated in the yellow house lights.

I heard low speaking and the hum of the television. I skidded into the peaceful room, candles burning on the mantle. My eyes locked to Jasper's, and he stood up as if some other force made him do so. He was to me in an instant, as if being away from each other for this long was torturous. I pressed my cheek to his soft cotton shirt, smelling Edward's scent ever so lightly in the fibers.

I inhaled loudly and sighed happily, my eyes closing and my arms tightening around the warm body. His limbs snaked around me a little hesitantly. The eye not pressed to his chest opened to the Cullens, watching with shy smiles. I pulled my face away, letting the clean scent of Jasper linger in my nose. I giggled.

With our hands linked, we sat down on the loveseat. Everything was so plush and warm. I snuggled against Jasper's body, curling up my hands. His softly enclosed mine, and my insides swelled and my smile grew. Jasper chuckled into my ear, tickling it. i rubbed the insides of his palms with my small white thumbs.

I noticed all the Cullens were wearing flannel pajamas, which struck me a little odd. We didn't sleep.

"To give you a homey feel." Edward whispered from the chair next to me. I was startled for a moment, then recalled his gift and smiled.

That night pieced back my humanity, which had been waning everyday the sun rose with Vincent, Lee and Perry. The thought of Perry slightly stung me. I burrowed closer to the body beside me.

I inhaled my family's scents and the sweet incense of the candles. Jasper's hand moved up and down my ravaged arm--with great care, I was pleased to note. When no one was scrutinizing us, I stole his hand and kissed his knuckles. The white hand met my cheek and stroked it. I noticed that his shirt was long sleeved.

I remembered that he too had scars to hide.

**Yayyy for Cullen lurv. I so want to just sleep over one nite--i would die of amazement haha. Gimme thoughts!**

**Song Choice: _Somewhere over the Raindow-What a Wonderful World_ by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole**


	18. Chapter 18: A Love That Lasts

**One last time i will say: read. enjoy. review. thanks.**

Alice sometimes wondered what Vincent had taken away. No one could ever tell her, of course. They could never reassure her that the memories lost were pointless. Alice hoped they were very minor, but some were not so.

Esme had asked Alice if she would like the dirt stained dress to be thrown away, and the young vampire had ran to her, shouting her disagreement.

Confused, Esme had handed her back the ruined garment and fluttered away. Alice sat at the kitchen table for two hours after that, staring and touching the dress. The beads glinted weakly in spots under the fluorescent lighting, and she desperately tried to remember something--anything about it. It felt important to her. She fingered the lace and let the cloth whisper over her healing arms, and yet, nothing came.

She walked upstairs and hung it up in her closet, in the very back. It looked like a phantom amongst her new clothes--she'd never had so many.

She found that shopping was a wonderfully entertaining thing to do, and she loved to watch Jasper's eyes dance when she met up with him in a new purchase. The ragged edges peeked from behind the cleanliness of the others. Yet, she would not throw it out.

Esme hadn't even gotten a chance to wash it, and when Alice found her adopted mother in her room with the dying thing in her hands, she assumed the worst and ripped it away. Esme had to soothe her to return in to her gentle hands--it only needed washing. Alice grimaced at the dirt and pine needles still lodged into the stitching and handed it over with care, as if it were a bird with a broken wing. Esme strolled down the hall, glancing back at her newest daughter with sympathy.

Alice never remembered the little town with the diner in it.

She never knew that Jasper was meant to find her at a diner.

She didn't know that the dress had been once a gorgeous outfit and that she was to wear it upon meeting Jasper.

She didn't remember Jocelyn or Janine, either. The two sweet girls at the bright boutique. They waited for a mysterious but beautiful wedding invitation to arrive in their mail slot, but it never came. They asked Figgie what ever happened to Alice, and he shrugged sadly, his eyes watering. They had left with their shoulders slumped. They had whispered to each other under the burning lamplights, "Do you think she ever found him?"

They would never know, and eventually they forgot about their envied friend. They liked to believe that she had been whisked away by her prince charming, and they lived happily ever after and had began a family. Or they would if not already--someday, they assured each other.

Despite the friends Alice never knew she lost, her life was filled with timeless happiness.

Every morning she would stir from her long silence that substitued sleep sometimes and look over to the other side of the bed she and Jasper shared. It would be often empty, and she would get up and dress with a smile balancing on her lips. Only moments later there would be a clatter at the window, and she would hurry to the window sill, where a long and lean blonde vampire would be squeezing in, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He would smile shyly; she would sigh and take the flowers from her lover, and he would slide inside as she fussed over them--preparing a home for them out of a crystal vase filled with water.

She would replace yesterday's flowers with these new ones, vibrant and scented, on the dresser and fall into his arms. They would share a kiss to create the rest of the day to be wonderful.

One morning, Esme knocked on Alice's bedroom door when Jasper was out. What Esme held made Alice tear up, minus the watery eyes. Her throat clogged and she gasped, her vocals quivering. Esme beamed back…with a clothes hanger on her arm.

Alice's dress--her little gray dress, was brand new. It looked better than it had before, though Alice could not remember anything but a ruined piece of cloth.

The beading was gorgeous--not one seed bead was misplaced. It matched the original design (that Alice had always imagined) that had been ever so faintly imprinted on the fabric beneath the dirt. The mesh had to be new--the old stuff was riddled with fist-sized holes. Alice suspected new additions to the fabric under the mesh, too, but she also agreed that Esme would be someone able to flawlessly sew.

The beads and newly laced-in glitter fibers sparkled delicately in the morning light creeping into Alice and Jasper's softly painted-alabaster room. Alice was frozen at the doorway, her tiny fingers loosening on the doorjamb.

Esme's eyes crinkled in joy. "Did I do good, sweetie?"

Alice gasped, one of those exhales of pure happiness that I followed with oozing tear drops. That didn't come, but Alice did drabble out a thanks and mashed herself to her mother in a hug. She buried her face into Esme's caramel hair and quivered in delight, while her sneaky little hand grabbed for the hanger eagerly. Esme pulled away and laughed, handing it over.

She gazed at her overwhelmed daughter for a long moment. She tucked a little piece of charcoal hair behind her pixie ear and lightly kissed both of her powder white cheeks. At the sound of the door being closed, Alice tore off her shirt and bottoms, and put the dress over her head like it was ancient lace that would break if handled wrongly. It slid back over her tiny body once again, feeling like airy fabric and not wet seaweed on her frame.

Smiling, she danced around the bedroom for a while, simply waiting to show Jasper.

The morning light became yellowish afternoon sunshine. Jasper gracefully put his long limbs through the window, his white hand clutching fresh flowers. The pollen clung to his glittering skin in tiny speckles.

His shoes hit the soft white carpet, and his expectant grin faded a little when Alice wasn't there to take the flowers and give him a kiss. The flowers quivered in the warm wind that wooshed after him. He ran a large hand through his messy hair.

"Alice?" he called into the room. His ears picked up a soft pitter patter and sigh from behind the bathroom door conjoined to their bedroom. He chuckled and approached, his hand reaching out to grab the handle. It swung open before he could get to it.

He gasped, his jaw dropping. His face was in shock and he dropped the flowers. They made a soft plink on the wooly carpeting. Alice's bright eyes fell to them. "Oh, Jasper, the flowers. You dropped them." She crouched over them carefully and gathered them in her healed arms.

She tugged on her dress modestly with the bouquet in her tiny hand as she stood. Her eyes glimmered up at Jasper, who hadn't moved. His hand was still left open from when he let the flowers drop from his paralysis. Alice summoned all the love in her tiny body and fixed her golden eyes on his with full seriousness.

His eyes squinted ever so slightly, like he was staring into a brilliant sun. His mouth moved close my a millimeter. Alice's tiny white fingers smoothed over the mesh. "Do you like it?" She could already see how drastically he reacted to this dress than the other zillion she owned. She knew this one was special.

Jasper's face became more composed as he took a step towards Alice. He exhaled and brought his hand to her face. She clutched the flowers as his feathery-soft touch brought tingles through her body. Her spine jangled in adoration.

The ball of his thumb touched her lips, and his fingers gently kneaded against her neck. She sighed and let her eyes flutter close as the love for him whooshed through her body. It felt like a dam was being broken inside of her--just like when they first met. Just like when they kissed.

Her sigh was long and broken by her shudders of delight. Her lips hung slack and relaxed from the intensity she was feeling. His thumb was soft and careful, like she was fragile. Each time she drew a shuddering sigh, his scent stained her tounge.

His thumb stoked across her lips carefully, and her free hand broke from the dress fabric to the back of his hand. She touched it firmer than the way he touched her. Jasper inhaled and whispered to her, "You are…the most beautiful creature to ever grace the earth. I didn't think it was possible for you to look even more beautiful, but here you are, surprising me like you always do."

Alice opened her eyes to gaze into his, wide with the exact same feelings.

"I think my love for you doubles every day I see you. Every time I touch you. Kiss you…think of you. You are the only one I trust with my heart. I really cannot give even a little to anyone just yet. But for now, you need to take my heart, my trust, all of me. Because I know you can truly take care of it." His lips pressed together softly as he waited for her reaction.

Alice's eyes glowed in love, and she was silent.

She didn't need to tell him what she felt, for he could feel it. Her mouth opened into an awed smile, and her chest swelled as the emotion ran rapid through her. Her shoulders shrugged upward as she tried to reign herself in. Her face became a huge grin, big enough that Jasper moved away his hand to let it peak. He watched her face bloom in amazement.

When he leaned in to kiss her, with his brow crinkling and his eyes closing as he wondered how he ever deserved this, Alice let her emotions ebb and flow through her lover. He tasted her sweet emotions and pulled her closer. He touched the mesh and lace and beading of the dress that was originally meant for him with admiration. Alice was like a piece of goddess-like art to him, and he couldn't believe he didn't have to share her with anyone.

His fingers touched the small of her back, and she fell into him, her arms already outstretched to be thrown around his broad shoulders. They pressed to each other, trying to blend in to each other's bodies, for they already shared the emotion.

As Alice kissed Jasper; her meaning of life and reason for sanity, she knew that it was all worth it.

She would have done it all over just to have one more kiss.

**One last Time: _River Flows Through You_ by Yiruma**

**That's it, ladies and gents. My story of love, loss, angst, relief, and joy. Thank you so much for joining me for the ride. It really meant a lot to me. The WORST thing that could have happened was getting no reviewers. Thank you soooo much for even clicking on my link to the story. I hope you don't see Stephenie Meyer's characters any differently, because the way they were created is already perfect. That is why I fell in love with them! Thank you again.**

**-newcomer77**


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